


Lurking in the dark, there's someone who breathes you night and day

by KidScrappy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol (minor), Alternate Universe - College/University, Blood, Definitely Not A Romance, Depression, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Minor Character Death, Murder, No End Game Relationships, Not Canon Compliant, Sexual Content - Handjobs, Suicide, Vomitting (minor), implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-13 06:06:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7965451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidScrappy/pseuds/KidScrappy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Look at the bright side of things! Your teacher can’t fail you for not showing up with your partner if he’s dead in a ditch somewhere.”</p><p>-----</p><p>Hajime's college life takes a very drastic turn when students start disappearing from campus.</p><p>-----</p><p>None of the relationships in the tags will last for the entirety of the story, and none will end in a pleasant way.</p><p>Tags will be updating with each chapter, please keep an eye on them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Winter

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be updating with each chapter, please keep an eye on them.
> 
> This fic wouldn't have seen the light of day without the amazing [Icie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Icie), who not only agreed to beta when I rewrote the bulk of this fic in a three week span but also listened every time I changed the plot over the course of nearly two years. It wouldn't be here without her encouragement to just keep going.

There aren’t many times that Hajime wishes he had listened to Oikawa. Because ninety percent of the things Oikawa says are absolute bullshit, and the other ten percent aren’t worth the smug look and the condescending “I told you so, Iwa-chan!” he’d get.

Which is why he is dragging himself to his last mandatory economics class before his final presentation, while cursing himself for being a dumbass and not getting all his compulsory classes out of the way in his first semester, when he still had the energy for them, like _someone_ had suggested.

He had thought that the only available opening being in a 7am class was the worst punishment he would get for ignoring good advice, until he met his project partner. Tsukishima Kei is an annoying piece of shit who is, at times, an even bigger pain in the ass than Hajime’s best friend and he really wonders what he did to deserve having to deal with someone like that first thing in the morning. If he never has to see Tsukishima again after they hand in their paper, it will still be too damn soon.

He buries his face into the scarf, wrapped around his neck to protect his nose from the cold morning air, and briefly considers if slipping on the frozen ground and breaking his arm would be worth it to get out of going to class. He’s pretty sure Tsukishima wouldn’t ease up on him because of something as trivial as a mangled limb.

Hajime repositions the strap of his bag, heavy with all the extra material Tsukishima had not so politely requested he bring, and opens the door to the classroom building. Too late to go back and break his arm now, anyway.

\-----

Tsukishima doesn’t show up for class. It’s the _last_ fucking class before their final presentation and that shithead isn’t here, so Hajime is left trying to explain to his professor that he has no idea where his project partner went without yelling. If he is going to fail a stupid mandatory class because this asshole overslept he’s going to strangle him.

By the time the class lets out, the rest of the campus seems to be waking up as well and Hajime stomps his way over to the cafeteria for some breakfast now that he is properly awake.

He finds Oikawa at their usual table, not that Oikawa actually lives in the dorms but he claims it’s easier to eat here between classes than to go back to his apartment. Hajime’s anger cools down when he sees there is an extra tray of food on the table, presumably for him.

He drops his bag to the floor. The resulting thud is loud enough to draw the attention of students at the neighbouring tables, though they turn back to their own food soon enough when they see Hajime’s scowl. The only person it doesn’t seem to put off is smiling his signature bullshit toothpaste commercial smile at him.

“Good morning Iwa-chan, did you get up on the wrong side of the bed again?” Oikawa asks, calmly sipping his coffee like Hajime’s day hadn’t already gone to shit _before_ he got out of bed.

“Tsukishima didn’t show up for class,” he grumbles. He drags a bowl of cereal towards himself and starts eating, only now realizing how hungry he actually is.

“That really rude guy you were working with?”

Hajime nods, unable to answer with his mouth full.

“I didn’t think you would mind,” Oikawa says.

Hajime swallows and sighs. “I wouldn’t, but our project is due next week and I can’t hand it in alone.” He drags his hand through his hair, making it stick up even more. “I already texted him a dozen times, but he won’t reply.”

Oikawa leans across the table and presses his index finger against Hajime’s forehead.

“Hasn’t your mother told you that if you frown so much your face will stick that way? You aren’t a beauty to begin with – you really shouldn’t sabotage yourself like that!”

Hajime thinks that if he wasn’t so tired and distracted with being pissed off at Tsukishima he would break Oikawa’s stupid finger. Instead he slaps it away, halfheartedly.

“Cut it out. Anyway, I won’t be able to make dinner tonight,” he mumbles.

“ _Why_?!?” Oikawa shrieks like Hajime just offended him in the worst way possible. They’re getting stared at again.

“Because now I have to make sure that I’m ready to give this presentation on my own next week if I have to. Besides, don’t you have homework to do as well? Be a decent college student and study for a change,” Hajime replies.

Oikawa smiles at him, that horrible fake smile he perfected in high school, and holds up his fingers in a peace sign.

“Don’t worry about me, Iwa-chan! My grades are just fine. We don’t all have neanderthal brains!”

Hajime kicks him in the shin, _hard_ , before ignoring Oikawa’s yelp and resuming his breakfast, only half listening to Oikawa’s summary of the shitty sci-fi movie he watched last night.

\-----

The next time Hajime sees Tsukishima Kei is on a poster on the bulletin board outside the science building. A blown up version of a terrible student ID picture that perfectly captures his condescending glare and the word ‘MISSING’ in bold red lettering underneath.

Hajime stomps his feet, trying to get them warm in worn-down boots that are horribly unsuited for this winter, skimming over the rest of the poster. There isn’t much, just some basic information on where he was last seen and a plea for anyone with any information to contact the police and someone called Yamaguchi.

He actively tried to learn as little as possible about Tsukishima in their time together, but he knows he is proud and scarily invested in his schoolwork, to the point where Hajime can’t imagine him just leaving an assignment unfinished and running off somewhere. Hajime scratches the back of his neck as he looks at the blurry photo. Still, the alternative is bad enough that he really hopes he just misread the guy and he _did_ flake out on him like that.

“Excuse me?”

Hajime turns around to someone he’s never seen before. They are roughly the same height but the other guy is hunched over like he’s trying to occupy as little space as possible, making him look way shorter than he actually is. In his arms he carries a huge stack of posters identical to the one on the bulletin board.

“Have you seen him, maybe?” He asks.

“Not since last week. We work together in class is all,” Hajime says. “Sorry.” He adds the apology as an afterthought, this kid doesn’t look like he can handle more bad news. And surely, as soon as the words are out of his mouth, the guy in front of him hunches over even more, ducking his head in the collar of a coat that is three sizes too big for him.

“You the one looking for him? Yamaguchi-san, was it?” Hajime asks, recalling the name above the contact number on the poster.

The boy, Yamaguchi, nods. “He’s my best friend. He’s been gone for a few days now.”

Hajime shudders, trying to play it off as just a chill. He can’t imagine what Yamaguchi must be going through, but he knows that, annoying as Oikawa might be most of the time, he would be just as worried and looking for him everywhere he could think of if he dropped off the face of the earth like that.

“Iwa-chan~!”

 _Speak of the devil_. Hajime turns his head to see Oikawa, coming their way with a smile and his hand held up in a wave.

“Ready to go?” Oikawa asks as soon as he’s within normal speaking distance.

“Yeah.” Hajime nods towards Yamaguchi. “I hope you find him soon, I’ll keep an eye out for anything.”

“Thanks.” Yamaguchi’s reply is barely above a whisper, the stress of not knowing where his best friend is must really be getting to him.

As they walk away, Oikawa bumps his shoulder against Hajime’s.

“What was that about?” They’re only barely out of earshot, meaning Oikawa picked up on the topic being sensitive and decided to not ask Yamaguchi directly. It’s those little things he does sometimes that remind Hajime that his best friend is always reading the situation and acting accordingly. It also reminds him that Oikawa is a good guy, somewhere, buried under all the bullshit.

“Tsukishima Kei has gone missing, apparently.”

“Your Tsukishima?” Oikawa asks.

“He’s not anything of mine, but yeah,” Hajime replies.

“Iwa-chan sounds upset.” Oikawa takes an extra step and spins around to face him, apparently trying to gauge Hajime’s exact emotions by staring at him.

“Of course I’m upset, idiot. I thought the guy was just being a piece of shit and ignoring me for the hell of it, I don’t want anything bad to have actually happened to him.”

“Look at the bright side of things! Your teacher can’t fail you for not showing up with your partner if he’s dead in a ditch somewhere.”

Hajime stops.

“You don’t mean that, do you?” he asks.

Oikawa puts his hand to his chest in mock hurt. “Such cruelty! Iwa-chan thinks so little of me.”

“You’re definitely a worse person than I am. Don’t even joke about stuff like that, asshole,” Hajime grumbles.

“I was kidding! I just wanted to try to lighten the mood a little.” Oikawa moves so they’re next to each other again and latches on to Hajime’s arm.

Hajime doesn’t even try to shrug him off this time.

“You shouldn’t. That guy back there was seriously upset. And I can’t blame him, I’d be worried sick if you went missing without a word like that.”

The grip on his arm tightens. “I knew you loved me the most in the whole world! But don’t worry Iwa-chan, I’ll never ever leave you like that. We’ll be together forever! Just like we promised when we were six.”

“I can’t believe you remember that,” Hajime says, his cheeks pink from more than just the cold.

“I always listen intently when Iwa-chan talks, he’s my most important person after all!” Oikawa beams at him.

“Yeah,” he mumbles under his breath, “you’re mine too.”

\-----

“Did you hear about that guy that went missing?” Sawamura asks Hajime a few days later while they’re hanging out in his room playing video games.

“You mean Tsukishima? I share a class with him,” Hajime says as he takes out a sniper aiming at Sawamura. 

“Thanks,” Sawamura says, continuing on his way to the objective. “It’s weird isn’t it? Nobody has heard anything from him in over a week.”

“You know him?” Hajime asks.

“We went to the same high school, but we weren’t friends or anything,” Sawamura replies.

“He seems like a difficult guy to be friends with, if he’s as annoying as he is in class,” Hajime mutters, picking off another opponent and joining Sawamura for their final offense.

“He’s the one you’ve been trying to work with?”

“‘Trying’ being the operative word here.” Hajime is gripping the controller tight.

“Shit, I hope he shows up soon then,” Sawamura says, finally reaching the objective. A screen proclaiming them both winners and showing their stats flashes obnoxiously.

\-----

Even though he was being a dick about it, in a way, Oikawa was right. Hajime’s teacher is surprisingly understanding and immediately offers him an extension to get all the materials he needs together, now that he is without a project partner.

But even without that assignment hanging over his head, exams are looming closer, so in the evening he packs his bag and heads over to Oikawa’s place for an all night study session.

There are a few good things about studying with Oikawa. He has his own apartment where nobody will bother them, there’s someone to split coffee duty with, and just looking at Oikawa’s course load makes Hajime feel like his own is a piece of cake.

It doesn’t outweigh all the complaining Oikawa does, though.

“I regret coming to college.” Oikawa proclaims out of the blue. “I should have just become the model I was meant to be so I could be rolling in money and surrounded by pretty girls right now, instead of looking at whatever this is.” He is lying on his back in the middle of the living room, weakly gesturing at the book covering his face.

Hajime grunts, not meriting a stupid comment like that with an actual reply, as he continues to try and decipher his own notes and compile them into something that will be actually _useful_. He’s close to giving up, and when he reaches for his mug only to find it empty he takes it as a sign from the universe to get away from his work for a bit.

“I’m making more coffee,” he announces to Oikawa, who bolts upright, the book sliding down his face and landing in his lap.

“My hero! Get me some too?” He holds out his equally empty mug for Hajime to take.

Hajime sighs and steps in between the books and papers Oikawa has spread all over the room, which he _refuses_ to tidy up, to fish the cup from between his long fingers.

Oikawa’s kitchen is small and the tiles are cold even through his socks as he pours water into the kettle and sets it on the stove.

He raises his hand to rub at his tired eyes, wondering if he’s going to need reading glasses by the time he is thirty, when an arm snakes around his waist and a warm body presses against his back.

“You could’ve made coffee yourself if you were going to get up anyway,” Hajime says but Oikawa doesn’t reply.

Too tired and too cold to push Oikawa away, he stays like that, waiting for the water to boil in silence. Oikawa has his face pressed between Hajime’s shoulder blades and Hajime can feel his hair tickling against the base of his neck. It’s not unpleasant.

Oikawa is shaken out of whatever thoughts were distracting him when Hajime lifts his arm to pour hot water on the instant coffee he put in the mugs earlier, deciding that at 3am and after countless cups, his body probably won’t be able to tell the difference between proper coffee and the instant stuff anyway.

“Are you going home for Christmas break?” Oikawa asks.

“Wasn’t planning on it, I have some more stuff to catch up on after exams and my mom is visiting my aunt and uncle up in Hokkaido anyway,” Hajime answers. He thinks he can feel Oikawa smile against his back. He could’ve just _asked_ Hajime to stay here with him instead.

Oikawa is forced to step back when Hajime turns around, two freshly made cups of questionable coffee in his hands. Oikawa gratefully takes one of them, using the warmth to soothe his cramped hands.

“We should get back to work,” Hajime sighs, walking past Oikawa and back to the table with his notes.

Oikawa makes a high-pitched noise of complaint. “I don’t want to,” he says, drawing his words out in a whine. “There’s no point in getting good grades, it’s not high school.” But he still moves to sit down in the middle of his circle of chaos anyway. “Will Iwa-chan give me something if I get good grades?”

Times like these remind Hajime that his childhood friend never really stopped being a _child_. “I’m not buying you any UFO crap.”

Oikawa leans forward and glares at him. “Rude! I haven’t even told you what I want yet! I just want to spend Christmas Eve together.” he says.

“No way.”

“So cold, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa flops over on the floor. Dramatic as always.

“Why do I have to do that with you? Don’t you have some girls drooling after you that you can take out for Christmas?” Hajime asks. “I’m sure they'd be delighted.”

“But I love Iwa-chan the most, why would I want to spend it with anyone other than him?” Oikawa answers. And Hajime knows he’s completely sincere, even if he makes it sound like a joke. If it had been Oikawa’s first declaration of his undying love for his childhood best friend this week, Hajime might have gotten flustered. Now, he just rolls his eyes.

“Only if you get at least eighty percent on everything,” he concedes, after barely a minute of thinking. He never was all that good at denying Oikawa anything. He will complain and curse but he’ll do almost anything for him in the end.

The grin on Oikawa’s face as he picks up his discarded book and goes back to taking notes with a newfound fervor is enough motivation for Hajime to stretch his arms above his head before bending back over his indecipherable notes.

\-----

After his last exam, Hajime goes back to his dorm room. It feels like he hasn’t spent any time there in the last two weeks, instead spending every moment between tests at either the library or Oikawa’s apartment.

Most of the time he’s glad to have a room to himself. After spending the whole day surrounded by people, the last thing he wants is to go back to a talkative roommate but it does mean that when he opens the door, the room is filled with stale air, and there’s a fine layer of dust from lack of use on everything.

He cracks open the window despite the december cold, just to get some fresh air in and drops face first on his bed. His sheets feel gross and could probably do with a wash but Hajime thinks he’ll put that off until he’s had a good night’s sleep. Twenty hours should do the trick.

But before he can even start to doze off, there’s a knock on the door. Hajime wonders if whoever is disturbing his much needed rest will fuck off if he pretends he isn’t here.

“I know you’re there Iwaizumi, the light is on.”

Hajime groans and his antagonist takes that as a confirmation that it’s okay to come in.

“You’re gonna get pneumonia if you sleep with the window open like that.”

Hajime rolls over weakly so he can stare down the guy grinning at him from his doorway.

“Shut up, Sawamura. Do you have any idea how busy I’ve been this month?”

Sawamura walks into the room, kicking the door shut behind him, and drops himself on the foot of Hajime’s bed. “I told you a million times to call me Daichi, and it’s not my fault you chose a shitty major.”

“Why are you here?” Hajime would like to pretend the question doesn’t come out as a whine, maybe spending two weeks with only Oikawa for company has rubbed off on him.

“I’ve barely seen you this semester so I thought I would stop by before I leave tomorrow.” Daichi replies. “And something tells me you could use some food.”

“I’m not even hun-” Hajime’s stomach cuts off his lie with an embarrassingly loud growl.

Daichi throws his head back and laughs. “Come on, I’m treating you. You can’t live on coffee and microwave ramen forever.”

\-----

The cafeteria feels crowded now that everyone is done with exams and starting to eat at regular hours again.

He sits at a table off to the side, as usual, while Daichi gets their food and he finds himself growing bored without anything to do. He has always been the type of person to keep busy. As a kid there was so much to do and explore that the days felt too short. Then when he got to middle school he got in the habit of studying every day. Although, that was because Oikawa set his sights on being at the top of the class and the only way Hajime could keep him from running himself into the ground was to join him. That only got worse in high school, when he had to juggle his regular homework and college prep classes.

And volleyball, always volleyball. It had been such a constant in his life ever since Oikawa had showed up at his front door with a ball because he had seen a match on TV and wanted to try playing. Somehow they both found enough time to get good, good enough to get into a high school with a well-known team. Good enough for them to become captain and vice-captain of that team. Good enough for Hajime. Never good enough for Oikawa.

He had expected Oikawa to get scouted by some university and go on to play professionally, but instead Oikawa had told him that he was applying to the same university as Hajime and that he wouldn’t be trying out for the volleyball team. Because Oikawa always dances around truths he doesn’t like, it took Hajime an hour of questioning him before Oikawa had smiled at him, that awful smile that doesn’t have a shred of sincerity, and told him that his doctor had told him that he wouldn’t be able to play anymore.

It was more surprising than it should have been. Oikawa had been seriously injured playing before, and there was always a chance of his knee getting worse. But Hajime had thought, had _hoped_ that, just like he did with schoolwork, he would be able to pace Oikawa a little, enough for him to not cripple himself. Oikawa had gone behind his back and had gotten in more practice than he should have, and the fact that he hadn’t told Hajime about any of it until he dragged it out of him hurt more than he ever could have imagined.

He signed up to live in the dorms after that, instead of getting an apartment together like they had started to plan, and hadn’t spoken to Oikawa for a whole week. It would have been longer if Oikawa hadn’t shown up at his house all upset, causing Hajime’s mother to force them to make up like she did back when they were kids.

Hajime figures they’ve been together for too long now, been through too much together. He knows his life is never going to be complete without Oikawa, no matter what stupid stunts he pulls, and the dumbest part is that he’s okay with that.

"You do realize that exams are over, right?" Daichi asks with a half grin.

Hajime figures he already knows he’s not thinking about school work, but he nods anyway, before bending over his meal. The steam is warm and pleasant on Hajime’s face and when he takes the first bite of curry the warmth sinks into every part of his body. He sighs loudly, and Daichi’s smile grows wider.

"So what were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about high school," Hajime says, a little bit embarrassed.

Daichi shakes his head. "That's just as bad, next you'll be telling me you miss the good old times."

Hajime laughs. “No, not like that. Honestly, I think these are the good times. There’s less pressure from parents or teachers, and a lot more free time without extracurricular activities.”

"Hey, some of us are still doing those, you know?" Daichi says, still with that smile.

“Huh?” Hajime asks, before he remembers. “Oh yeah, you’re on the volleyball team. How is it?” He hopes it doesn’t sound like he’s jealous.

Daichi hardly thinks before answering, making Hajime think he's trying to tempt him onto the team. Again. "We're a mixed bunch, but some of us are serious," Daichi says, and confirms Hajime's suspicions when he continues with a sideways look, "Did you change your mind about joining?"

“No,” Hajime replies, he doesn’t even have to think about it. “I don’t want to do that to Oikawa.”

Daichi frowns. "He is your best friend. Shouldn't he be fine with you playing if that's what you want to do."

Hajime frowns "He would never say he _wanted_ me to stop, but I think he’s glad for it anyway. You didn’t play with him, he loved volleyball more than anything else. It would be cruel to just rub it in his face like that."

“It doesn’t seem fair though," Daichi says, "having to give up something you like doing just to make him feel better.”

“I miss playing, but it wouldn’t be the same without him tossing to me. And it wouldn’t be worth losing his friendship over. I care about Oikawa more than I care about volleyball, anyway,” Hajime says.

Daichi keeps his face steady. "That definitely helps convince people that you’re not an old married couple,” he deadpans.

Hajime throws a napkin at his face. “Shut up and eat your damn food.”

\-----

Winter break is nice and peaceful. Most of the dorm, and really most of campus, is deserted so there’s no one around to bother Hajime or occupy the shower right when he wants to take one.

He spends his time alone. Aside from the occasional phone call from his mother and the slightly more frequent calls from Oikawa, the only people he talks to for a whole week are the cafeteria staff. He finishes all of his leftover school work within the first three days and kills the rest of the time with watching TV and playing video games.

He doesn’t think he’s been this relaxed since before high school.

\-----

The day before Christmas, it starts snowing. A light powder dusting covers the fields on campus, making it look even more abandoned than it is. He heads out early towards Oikawa’s place, stopping by a bakery on the way to pick up a small cake for them to share.

The walk to Oikawa’s apartment complex takes longer than he thought it would and, by the time he reaches the front door, the snow is coming down in big flakes that no longer melt when they hit the ground. The bottoms of his jeans are soaked through from walking through what’s already collected there. When Oikawa opens his door, the warmth from inside washes over him, and brings back some feeling to his face. He doesn’t think he’s ever been more glad for Oikawa’s complete inability to deal with cold weather.

“You’re early!” Oikawa grabs the sleeve of Hajime’s coat and pulls him into his apartment and out of the snow.

“The weather forecast said the snow was going to get worse later, I wanted to get here before it became impossible to leave the dorm,” Hajime says. Even spending Christmas Eve with his best friend is less pathetic than spending it alone in a cold, empty dorm.

Oikawa beams. “I know you just wanted to spend as much time together as possible, Iwa-chan, you don’t have to lie.” His expression changes to an exaggerated pout that looks like he practised it in front of a mirror. “But you should have told me you were coming early, I’m still making dinner.”

“You can’t cook.” It’s not a question, Hajime _knows_ Oikawa is worthless in the kitchen. He had tried cooking for himself for a while when he had just moved out, saying he wanted to prove his worth as a proper adult or some bullshit like that, and nearly burned his apartment down in the first week. After that, and a few thinly veiled threats from his landlord, he started getting all his meals from the convenience store on the corner or the campus cafeteria.

“Rude! I’m making a wonderful Christmas dinner for my best friend and he doesn’t even appreciate it.” Oikawa says.

Hajime is almost touched, right up until the moment smoke starts pouring out into the hallway from the kitchen along with the telltale smell of something burnt.

“I think your wonderful Christmas dinner is burning,” Hajime deadpans. It’s hard to keep a straight face when Oikawa shrieks and runs back to his stove.

\-----

“Why were you even trying to cook?” Hajime asks after the toxic waste Oikawa was cooking up has been thrown out and he’s finished airing the kitchen.

“It’s our first Christmas away from home, I thought it should be special.” Oikawa has his legs pulled up on the chair with him and his face pressed against his knees in his signature pose of defeat.

Hajime sighs. “It’s already special, you idiot, there’s no need for you to burn the house down.”

Insulting him doesn’t seem to help cheer Oikawa up, he hasn’t moved his face yet and is now grumbling something against his sweatpants that Hajime can’t be bothered to try and decipher. He stands up from the dining table and goes back to the hallway to pick up the box he discarded when Oikawa yelled for help from the kitchen. He sets it down in front of Oikawa, who at least seems interested enough to lift his head to see what Hajime is doing.

“What I’m saying is, you don’t need to work so hard all the time. Even if we do nothing but eat this entire cake and watch your stupid movies all night it is still going to be special.”

Oikawa lifts his head a little further, far enough that he can face Hajime. “You brought cake.”

Hajime opens the box, revealing a double chocolate cake with ‘Merry Christmas’ spelled out on top.

“Well, it’s our first Christmas away from home.”

And that, at least, seems to lift Oikawa’s mood as he grins widely enough that Hajime can see all of his unnaturally white teeth.

\-----

They _do_ eat the whole cake, and they _do_ watch the shitty alien movies that Oikawa loves. Oikawa pretends to be scared at parts just so he has a reason to scooch over on the couch, pressing himself to Hajime from shoulder to knee. Hajime complains the whole movie about how dumb the premise is and that there is no such thing as alien life, which earns him an elbow to the ribs every single time. They have fun.

The snow from earlier has transformed into a full fledged storm and Hajime doesn’t argue when Oikawa says it’s too dangerous for him to walk home in the middle of the night with the weather like this. He borrows sweatpants and an old t-shirt from Oikawa and completely ignores the guest futon he knows Oikawa has stored in his closet in favor of crawling under the five blankets he keeps on his bed in the winter.

“Kyaa, Iwa-chan! So forward! You’ll corrupt me with your pervertedness!” Oikawa teases.

“Just shut up and get in before I decide you should sleep on the couch instead.” Hajime mumbles.

“Iwa-chan would kick me out of my own bed? Maybe I should find a better best friend.”

Hajime snorts and rolls over to face the wall. “Good luck with that.”

He can’t _see_ Oikawa’s pout from this position, but he knows it’s there. He’s almost tempted to mutter an apology but a moment later the bed dips behind him as Oikawa gets in without one, moving closer to Hajime than is necessary in a bed this large.

“Do I get a goodnight kiss?” He asks.

“Go to sleep, Oikawa.” Hajime answers.

When his best friend reaches out and curls his fist in the back of Hajime’s shirt he doesn’t try to dislodge it, and eventually he falls asleep to the sound of Oikawa’s steady breathing.

\-----

The first thing Hajime notices when he returns to classes after winter break, is that the posters with Tsukishima’s face are gone from the bulletin boards, but when he enters the classroom the seat next to his is still empty.

A guy in the row in front of him turns around.

“Did you hear? They found that Tsukishima kid.” he whispers, completely unnecessarily since class hasn’t started yet.

“Is he okay?” Hajime asks. While he hadn’t forgotten about it, it hadn’t been on his mind constantly during winter break either. Mostly, when he thought about Tsukishima, he remembered how downtrodden Yamaguchi had looked.

“Seems like he died,” the guy says and something drops in Hajime’s stomach.

The thought had crossed his mind, it was hard not to consider it when Tsukishima went missing so abruptly. But he had really hoped the guy just left for some reason or another.

“What happened to him?” he asks, his voice coming out less steady than before.

“Dunno.” The guy scratches the back of his neck. “There’s no official report yet, there are a lot of rumors going around on campus about it though. My roommate says he got drunk and drove his car into a tree.”

The way he says something so serious with such a casual tone is irritating. “You don’t seem to care very much.”

“I didn’t really know him. Besides, he kind of sounded like an asshole. Didn’t you complain about having to work with him every week?”

“Doesn’t mean he had to die,” Hajime replies coldly, ending the conversation as he ducks to get his books out of his bag. The guy shrugs it off, obviously just as unaffected as he claimed to be, and turns back around to lean over to another classmate to tell the story.

\-----

The guy wasn’t kidding when he had said there are a lot of rumors about the death of Tsukishima Kei going around campus.

A girl in the library says it was suicide, the guy in line behind him at the cafeteria says he was killed by a scorned ex-girlfriend, he overhears two students on the square discussing how he must have pissed off some bad guys, and Daichi says it was probably just an accident. But no one seems to know for sure.

A few days later, the story is printed in the local paper as well as the school one. There is still no mention of the official cause of death but it does say the body was found in a shallow grave in the forested area near his off-campus apartment on New Year’s Day, once the snow had melted.

Hajime remembers Yamaguchi, putting up posters and asking if anyone had seen his best friend, and wonders where he is now. He hasn’t seen him around campus, but then again, he didn’t expect to see him there.

He thinks of Tsukishima’s body, gracelessly dumped into a hole and covered up poorly, almost as an afterthought. He probably would have been found immediately if it hadn’t been for the snow piling up. And all that time he was so close to home. Hajime shudders. He may not have been a big fan of Tsukishima Kei but nobody deserves an end like that.

With tragic deaths you always hear friends and family talk about the final words they spoke to the deceased. Hajime is neither of those, but he really hopes that the last words Tsukishima Kei heard weren’t his ‘fuck off’.

\-----

It’s strange how quickly things go back to normal after that. Classes don’t stop just because a student died, and there are new tests to study for, no matter how weird Hajime feels. He feels like something should be different, something other than the seat next to him remaining empty for the rest of the semester and only his name on the project they worked on together.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” he asks Oikawa when they sit outside on a bench after class, soaking up some of the first spring warmth.

“What is?” Oikawa’s entire body is angled towards the sun, like an overgrown housecat.

“Someone dies and everything just stays the same,” Hajime replies.

Oikawa takes a minute to think about his answer. “Lots of people die every day, Iwa-chan. The world can’t stop for every single one of them.”

“It’s still not right. A guy got murdered and dumped in the woods for fuck’s sake! Shouldn’t the campus be swarmed with police or something?” Hajime says, fists clenched on his lap in frustration.

“I’m sure they’re busy interviewing the people close to him, there wouldn’t be much of a point in interrogating every single student on campus.” Oikawa lifts up a hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he looks at Hajime. “They’ll find whoever did it eventually and they’ll have to pay for it. There’s nothing you can do to speed up the process.”

“So you’re telling me to just let it go?”

“I’m telling you to just let it go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a [fandom tumblr](http://grandkingshrine.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/oikavvva) if you want to listen to me complain about how writing is hard.


	2. Spring

At the request of his mother, Hajime spends his break before the start of the new year back at home.

He and Oikawa sit at the Iwaizumi's kitchen table to answer his mother’s questions about what being away from home is like, if they’re enjoying their classes and, inevitably, if they have met anyone special yet.

“University is a great place to meet people,” Hajime’s mother says, “I met your father right after the opening ceremony, when I was new to campus and couldn’t find my classroom.”

Hajime has heard this story roughly a hundred times before, which means _Oikawa_ also has heard it the same amount, but he’s still on the edge of his seat like it’s the first time Hajime’s mother tells them about her late husband.

Sometimes Hajime forgets how much of a sap his best friend can be.

“I made some friends,” Hajime cuts her off before she can go into a detailed recount of her dating his father. Oikawa throws him a glance that says he couldn’t be more rude but Hajime’s mother just smiles.

“You know you can tell me if you’re dating someone, right Hajime? There’s no need to hide it from me.” She moves her head to look at Oikawa instead. Hajime is pretty sure he doesn’t like that look.

“Iwa-chan can’t help that he’s not the popular type. He always looks so grumpy and it scares all the girls away,” Oikawa says, completely unhelpfully.

Hajime’s mother covers her mouth with her hand when she laughs. “Maybe they’re just distracted by how handsome you have become, Tooru-kun.” Oikawa beams at her. “Tell me, are you still having girls confessing to you every other day? Hajime used to complain about you being popular all the ti-”

“Mom!” Hajime interrupts, really not needing Oikawa’s ego to get any bigger. Oikawa tries to swing an arm around him but Hajime immediately shrugs him off.

“Don’t be embarrassed Iwa-chan, I’ve always known you were jealous of my beauty.” Hajime jabs Oikawa and makes him double over and hit his head on the table.

“A smooth and elegant beauty,” Hajime deadpans. “I can’t believe you have an actual _fanclub_.”

“There are a lot of cute girls going to our school Iwa-chan, you really should put more effort into getting to know them,” Oikawa replies, rubbing his head.

Hajime rolls his eyes. “You’re not even getting to know them idiot, you just like their attention and brush them off with some shitty excuse when they ask you out.”

“Not true!” Oikawa exclaims. “Just before summer break I went to a really nice cafe with Miki-chan, and I took Sayuri-chan to the amusement park when you were being mean and refusing to hang out with me!”

“You never told me about that,” Hajime says.

“Iwa-chan never asked,” Oikawa replies simply. Hajime almost wants to yell at him but he’s interrupted by his mother pouring herself another cup of tea.

“It’s not nice to tease Hajime like that, Tooru-kun,” she says, her eyes shift from Oikawa to Hajime. “And you shouldn’t just assume things never change. You’re not in high school anymore, you’re both becoming adults and should act more like it.”

They mumble their apologies in unison, making Hajime’s mother’s stern look melt into a smile as she brings out a plate of cookies and moves on to the safer subject of grades.

\-----

Later, when they’ve retreated to the bedroom Hajime has been having sleepovers with Oikawa in since they were both four years old, he can’t help but ask Oikawa whether he’s seriously dating any of the girls he talked about.

“Are you jealous, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa replies.

Hajime lies on his back, pretty confident that Oikawa won’t be able to see his face from his futon on the floor. “It’s not like that,” he starts. “It would be weird if you suddenly started spending time with someone else. I thought you would tell me if that happens, is all.”

“Isn’t that just like jealousy?” Hajime doesn’t have to look at Oikawa to know he’s smiling.

“Shut up,” he says, throwing an extra pillow in Oikawa’s general direction.

“There’s no need for Iwa-chan to worry, I’m not interested in those girls,” Oikawa says, holding the pillow Hajime threw at him.

It’s true that it didn’t _seem_ like Oikawa paid more attention to his fangirls now than he did in high school, but if he actually bothered to go on dates with them it seems obvious to Hajime that he is interested now. If he wasn’t, he would just turn them down to say he had to go play volley- _oh_.

Hajime freezes and turns over the new realisation. It slipped Hajime’s mind that he’s not the only one with a lot more free time now that they don’t have daily practice anymore, and how it must be even harder for Oikawa because him stopping wasn’t a choice. Suddenly, it makes a lot more sense that he would try to reach out to new people, people who won’t talk to him about volleyball, and since he’s always been this popular, dating is only the natural next step.

Now that he finally has the time, it’s only natural for Oikawa to get himself a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Hajime turns over in his bed so he can look at his best friend. Oikawa is pretty, even Hajime can recognise that, he’s smart and charismatic and even though he can be a huge pain in the ass, Hajime still cares about him a lot. He assumes that means other people could be brought to actually care as well.

“So you’re not going to take Miki-chan and Sayuri-chan on second dates?” he finally asks.

“I don’t think so,” Oikawa says, “They weren’t that interesting. I would much rather hang out with Iwa-chan.”

“Guess I’ll be stuck with you then, huh.” It’s not a question. He’s been stuck with Oikawa since they were children and he knows he’ll be stuck with Oikawa til the day he dies.

“Yes! But what about Iwa-chan? What if you start dating someone? Who are these friends you apparently met?” Oikawa asks.

“Just Daichi and some people from my classes,” Hajime replies. “And who says I’m not dating someone?”

Oikawa shrugs, “You would tell me if you were.” And Hajime hates how that’s not a question either.

“You didn’t tell me,” he snaps back.

“Iwa-chan is not me.”

Hajime sighs. “How would I even get a date? You already take up all my time.”

“You will just have to date me then,” Oikawa replies, voice light but without the usual casual lilt.

Hajime turns to face the wall, away from Oikawa.

“You wish.”

\-----

Hajime makes it back to the dorms the weekend before the opening ceremony, just when they start filling up again for the new semester. Now that he’s no longer one of them, it becomes easy to pick out the first year students, with suitcases packed to the point of being too heavy to carry as they try to make sense of the completely useless maps of the campus the university provides.

He helps a particularly nervous looking kid carry his stuff up the stairs before he heads for his own room. When he gets there, the door is already partially opened and, even though he doesn’t have a roommate, he knocks.

“Come in~”

Hajime considers turning around and walking down the hall to stay with Daichi instead of going in. It’s the weight of his bags cutting into his shoulders that eventually prompts him to nudge the door open with his foot.

He drops his bags next to the bed. The bed currently occupied by Oikawa.

“Welcome home Iwa-chan!” Oikawa says cheerfully, not bothering to look up from his magazine.

“What are you doing here?” Hajime asks, surprised.

“Rude! I just wanted to give you a warm welcome.” Oikawa drops the magazine to the floor and rolls onto his back so he can extend his arms towards Hajime.

“I don’t want that from you,” Hajime says.

“You’re so cold Iwa-chan. This kind of behavior counts as spousal abuse you know,” Oikawa pouts, his arms still outstretched.

Hajime knocks them away and sits down at the foot of his bed. “We’re not married.”

Oikawa sits up straight and throws his arms around Hajime despite his protest. “Ah, that’s right! Iwa-chan is still refusing to make an honest man out of me. Take responsibility!”

“Don’t you have your own apartment to get back to?” Hajime sighs.

“I do, but Iwa-chan is not there.” Oikawa presses his face into Hajime’s shoulder.

“We hung out yesterday,” he says, voice softer than before.

“Not good enough, I want to see you every single day,” Oikawa murmurs against his skin, “Why won’t you move in with me?”

Hajime sighs. “We’ve talked about that before. I like having my own space.”

“In a dorm where you share a bathroom with ten other guys?” Oikawa grumbles.

“At least I don’t have to listen to you snore or watch you drool on everything here,” Hajime says.

Oikawa squeezes him a little tighter. “I don’t snore _or_ drool, Iwa-chan! I think you are mistaking me for yourself.”

“Shouldn’t you be glad I’m not living with you then?”

“I am a very gracious best friend and willing to overlook those flaws of yours.”

Hajime rolls his eyes. “You just want to live together so I can cook for you and you don’t have to live on convenience store bentos.”

Oikawa’s reply is interrupted by another knock on the door, followed by it being pushed open without waiting for a reply.

“Hey Iwaizumi, I heard you coming in do you wanna go…” Daichi looks from Hajime to Oikawa, still wrapped around Hajime like a particularly affectionate octopus, and back. “Am I interrupting something?”

Hajime shrugs Oikawa off quickly, prompting Oikawa to fall back on the bed with a dramatic yelp.

“Not at all,” he says. “Hey, Daichi. What’s up?”

“Just wanted to see if you want to go out tonight, get a few drinks to celebrate the start of a new school year?” Daichi asks, still eyeing the both of them warily.

“Yeah, sure, "Hajime replies. "Want me to stop by your room when I finish unpacking?”

“Fine by me, I still have some stuff to take care of as well.” Daichi is halfway out the door when he turns back again. “You’re welcome to join us, Oikawa-san.”

Oikawa huffs out something that is probably supposed to pass as a laugh. “No thank you, Sawamura-kun, I don’t want to impose on your date. I have a cold and empty apartment to get back to all by myself.”

Daichi blinks once. Twice. “Okay?” And closes the door behind him.

“Since when do you call him by his first name? You never call me Tooru,” Oikawa says.

“He asked me to, and it would be weird if I started calling you by your first name,” Hajime replies.

“How would it be weird? You used to call me Tooru all the time when we were kids.” Oikawa pouts.

“We’re not kids anymore. Besides, you were the first one to stop using first names when you started calling me ‘Iwa-chan’.” Hajime makes a face using the nickname Oikawa gave him so many years ago.

“It’s different now that you have a friend you’re calling by his first name!” Oikawa replies.

Hajime punches Oikawa’s thigh. “You’re being a dick.”

“It’s unfair, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa shrieks. “We never go out together!”

“I come over to have dinner with you at least once a week,” Hajime deadpans.

Oikawa rolls over and presses his face into the pillow and mumbles something.

“I can’t hear you like that, Shittykawa.”

Oikawa lifts his head a few centimeters. “I said that that’s _different_. You come over to my house, we never go out.”

“Does it matter? I’m still hanging out with you, right?” Hajime asks, but Oikawa letting his head drop back down on his pillow is enough of a reply. He thinks about a way to cheer Oikawa up. “If you want to go out so bad, the first week of classes shouldn’t be too busy. There’s probably some dumb alien movie you want to see, isn't there? Just tell me when and I’ll go with you.”

Oikawa jumps back up fast enough that Hajime only has a second to worry if his best friend might hurt his back before he’s bowled over and pressed to his own bed by said best friend. Oikawa hangs over him, eyes wide and teeth showing in one of his beautiful, real smiles.

“You mean it, Iwa-chan? We can go out?” he asks.

“I said so, didn’t I?” Hajime replies, amused by Oikawa’s enthusiasm.

Oikawa buries his face against Hajime’s neck, where he can feel Oikawa smile against his skin. Oikawa is heavy and warm but not oppressively so, and Hajime brings his arms up to wrap around him on reflex.

“I love you Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers against his hairline.

“You’re too easy to please.”

\-----

The first day of classes sets out to be entirely uneventful.

Aside from the brief mention of the tragic passing of a student last year, the opening ceremony is the exact same as the one before. At the mention of Tsukishima Kei, Hajime’s stomach flips. He’s been keeping an eye on the case ever since it happened but it seems like nobody has been arrested for the murder yet. He spends the rest of the monotone speech wondering how that Yamaguchi kid is doing.

When he goes back outside, Hajime shoves his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie, trying to shield them from the cold wind that blows despite spring having started. He walks towards one of the classroom buildings. He’s walked this same path often enough that he doesn’t bother looking where he’s going, instead staring down at the pavement covered in cherry blossom petals, already ripped from their branches by the last remnants of winter.

That is, until he collides with something solid and warm. A hand with pale, long fingers reaches out immediately to curl around his arm, steadying him.

“Whoa, are you okay there?”

Hajime looks up to find that he has walked headfirst into one of the most beautiful people he’s ever seen. He’s just a few centimeters shorter than Hajime, but holds himself in a way that makes him appear taller. The guy is wrapped in a warm coat and a scarf that seems to go on for way longer than any scarf needs to, and looks homemade. His nose and cheeks are pink from the cold, making the beauty mark under his left eye stand out against the rest of his smooth skin.

“I’m fine. Sorry about that, I should look where I’m going,” Hajime says, ignoring his own words and looking back at the ground to avoid staring.

“It’s all good, as long as you didn’t get hurt. But maybe you can repay me by helping me look for where I’m going? I’m afraid I got lost,” the stranger says, smiling apologetically. He holds up his map to show Hajime just how lost he is.

“Where are you going?”

“The social sciences building.”

“You’re a bit far away.” Hajime traces the path from their current position to the classroom building with a finger. “I’m heading there, so I could show you if you want?”

“Really?” All of the stranger’s face lights up with a smile so bright Hajime absentmindedly thinks it could rival Oikawa’s. “That would be a huge help. I've never had a class there before, but I didn’t think it would be this hard to find.”

“It’s no problem,” Hajime says. “Iwaizumi Hajime, nice to meet you.”

“Sugawara Koushi, but please call me Suga. It’s nice to meet you too, Iwaizumi-kun.” Suga offers a small bow that Hajime returns.

“Right. This way,” Hajime says as he starts to lead the way.

They’re both quiet, Suga looking down at his map instead of striking up a conversation, giving Hajime the perfect opportunity to shamelessly look him over once more. He has never considered gray hair to be an attractive feature before, but the way Suga’s hair catches the pale sunlight fighting hard to emerge from behind the clouds makes it light up until it shines silver, almost like a halo.

“You’re staring.”

 _Shit_.

“It’s just,” Hajime starts, finally daring to look Suga in the eye and trying to fight down the blush he can feel rising on his cheeks. “You have a petal in your hair.”

Suga’s smile tells Hajime that he knows that’s not why he was staring, but he raises his hand and cards his fingers through his hair anyway. “Did I get it?”

“No, you… Can I?” Hajime asks with his hand already halfway to Suga’s face.

Suga nods, and Hajime reaches out the rest of the way. He plucks a single pink petal out of Suga’s hair with fingers he never considered to be inelegant before today. He shows it to Suga before letting it fall to the ground to join the others.

“Thank you,” Suga says, still with that ridiculous smile on his face that Hajime now realizes could not only rival Oikawa’s, but might beat it.

“It’s nothing,” he replies. Going back to his newfound hobby of staring at the ground and walking an entire step before a hand on his arm stops him.

“Could I convince you to get some coffee with me after class, Iwaizumi-kun?” Suga asks with not a hint of the embarrassment that Hajime is feeling at his own clumsy flirting.

Hajime opens his mouth, closes it again. Unsure how to reply. He expects Suga to say it was a joke or that he didn’t mean as a date or _anything_ but he just looks at Hajime with those big eyes of his and Hajime realizes he’s waiting for an answer.

“That would be nice.”

\-----

Hajime is the first to show up at the place Suga told him they should meet. He sits on a bench under a tree and tries to distract himself by reading one of his textbooks as he waits, only to give up barely a minute later.

It’s his first date since coming to college. His first date _ever_ , if he’s completely honest with himself. There were one or two confessions in high school but usually everyone he met was after Oikawa. It’s not like he doesn’t understand why, next to Oikawa most people would look dull in comparison, and he’s never really felt the need to date before.

Suga is ten minutes late before Hajime starts to think he may have gotten lost on his way out of the building again.

After twenty minutes, he starts to worry. He didn’t _think_ Suga asked him out as a joke. he didn’t seem like the kind of guy to do something like that, but the rush of people coming out of the classrooms at the end of the day has subsided and Suga is still not there.

After thirty minutes Hajime decides he must have been mistaken because clearly he has been stood up. He stuffs his textbook back in his bag and slings it over his shoulder.

“Iwaizumi-kun! Wait!”

Hajime doesn’t make it five steps away from the bench when he hears a bright voice call out. Suga is sprinting towards him, holding his books under his arm and his face red with exertion.

“I’m _so_ sorry! My class ran late and the teacher wouldn’t let us go,” Suga manages to say after a few deep breaths. “I thought you might have gone already.”

Hajime hadn't realized just how nervous and excited he's been about seeing Suga again, until the man himself stands in front of him, somehow managing to still look beautiful even as he gasps for air.

“I was just about to go,” he admits.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Suga replies with a smile that Hajime considers entirely unfair.

“So am I.” There’s no point hiding that fact, Hajime is pretty sure Suga would be able to tell if he lied anyway.

“Shall we go then?” Suga places a hand on Hajime’s bicep to guide him in the direction of wherever he plans on going and Hajime finds himself hoping he won’t take it off any time soon.

\-----

Suga leads them to a small cafe off campus and orders them two cups of coffee with a slice of apple pie he insists on adding to their order to ‘apologize for being late’.

They settle in a comfortable booth at the window, and chat, asking the standard questions. He's in the middle of asking Suga about his classes when his phone rings. He takes a look at the screen. The picture Oikawa took of himself flashes above the ‘incoming call’ message.

“Do you have to get that?” Suga asks, stirring another packet of sugar into his coffee.

“No, it’s not important.” Hajime cancels the call with a swipe of his thumb and puts his phone to the side. “So, your class ran late, huh?”

“Yes! Isn’t that a horrible thing to do on the first day of classes? You would think most teachers wouldn’t do much but explain the syllabus but this one immediately went into lecture mode and kept going for three hours! It was actually kind of impressive.”

Suga talks with his hands, gesturing with quick flicks of his slender wrists when he is agitated about something. He continues to talk about the classes he is starting this semester and how he still has trouble finding things on campus, despite already having been here for a full year.

Suga comments that it’s crazy that they’ve never met before, with both of them living on campus and knowing Daichi. Hajime laughs and thinks to himself that it would have been nice to meet a guy like Suga earlier.

Suga talks a lot and he talks fast, barely remembering to drink his coffee before it goes cold, and despite only talking when Suga asks him a question, Hajime finds himself having a good time. Suga has a nice voice to listen to and he talks about everything with a contagious level of enthusiasm.

Hajime catches himself staring at Suga as he’s talking more than once. And from the way Suga looks at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes, whenever Hajime adjusts himself in his seat and focuses on his coffee or pie, Suga has noticed as well.

They’ve been sitting there for barely an hour when the screen of Hajime’s phone flashes up again, with a text this time.

From: Oikawa Tooru  
    | Iwa-chaaaaaan where are youuuuu (」゜ロ゜)」  
    | I stopped by your dorm after class but no one was there

Hajime sets his phone to the side again, not bothering to reply. Oikawa can manage without him for a few hours.

“Sorry about that, what were you saying?” he asks, but before Suga has the chance to answer Hajime’s text tone goes off again.

From: Oikawa Tooru  
    | You’re not still in class are you?  
    | I saw your schedule I know you should be out by now (ᗒᗩᗕ)՞

From: Oikawa Tooru  
    | Maybe you got lost  
    | Do you need me to come find you? (•̀⌄•́)  
    | Just tell me where you are and I’ll be right there!

“Do you mind if I reply real quick? He won’t stop otherwise,” Hajime asks apologetically.

“Go for it, I need to go to the restroom anyway.” Suga stands up from the table and Hajime waits until he reaches the doors to the restroom before he unlocks his phone.

To: Oikawa Tooru  
    | im just having coffee with someone ill talk to u later

From: Oikawa Tooru  
    | What someone?  
    | Are you hanging out with Sawamura-kun?

To: Oikawa Tooru  
    | no its someone else

From: Oikawa Tooru  
    | Who could you even been hanging out with if it’s not me or Sawamura-kun?  
    | Did you make other friends without telling me?  
    | That’s mean Iwa-chan!  
    | M E A N!! ヽ(o｀Д´o)ﾉ

To: Oikawa Tooru  
    | you don’t know everything about me  
    | its just someone i met today relax

From: Oikawa Tooru  
    | You met today and you’re already friends!?  
    | Could it be you’re on a date Iwa-chan?  
    | Did someone confess to you under the cherry blossoms on the first day of class?

From: Oikawa Tooru  
    | You never cared about confessions before  
    | Are you trying to make me jealous Iwa-chan?

Hajime doesn’t know how to reply to that, and when a minute passes without further texts from Oikawa, he assumes that Oikawa realized he was being annoying and gave up. Until his phone starts ringing again. He swipes his finger to ignore the call because he knows he’ll never get rid of Oikawa if he picks up now, but there’s another one flashing on the screen immediately. He switches his phone to silent mode, so he doesn't disturb the other people in the cafe. But Oikawa keeps calling.

By the time Suga returns to the table, Hajime has no choice but to turn his phone off completely, if he wants to keep Oikawa from interrupting their date. And he doesn't.

“Still not important?” Suga actually seems to think it’s funny.

“Definitely not, just annoying. I turned it off,” Hajime replies as he stuffs his phone far into his bag where it can’t distract him.

Suga leans forward with his elbows on the table. “Jealous boyfriend?”

“No!” he replies maybe a little too quick, “No, he’s just a friend. I’m not dating anyone, why would you think that?”

“He seems really desperate to get your attention,” Suga shrugs, “And you’re cute. Why wouldn’t you have a boyfriend?”

Hajime nearly knocks over the rest of his coffee.

“I could say the same for you.” He really hopes he’s sounding casual, but it’s kind of hard after just narrowly avoiding spilling lukewarm coffee in his lap.

“Who says I don't?”

Not the answer Hajime was expecting.

“Oh,” he mutters, suddenly feeling very foolish for just assuming this was a date when Suga never explicitly told him it was.

Suga laughs. “I’m kidding! I wouldn’t have asked you on a date if I had a boyfriend.” He reaches out across the table to place his hand next to Hajime’s, their fingers brushing up against each other.

“Oh,” Hajime says again, definitely more upbeat this time.

Suga chuckles.

“You don’t have to be so nervous, I did just say that you were very cute.”

“I’m sorry,” Hajime apologizes. “I’m not really used to people saying stuff like that.”

“A shame really, they don’t know what they’re missing,” Suga says, apparently without a hint of embarrassment. He rips a scrap of paper out of his notebook and scribbles down something before sliding it across the table towards Hajime. “I have to go now, but if you ever turn your phone back on and would like to do this again, give me a call.”

Hajime tucks the piece of paper safely away in his wallet.

“I will.”

\-----

When Hajime turns his phone back on after saying goodbye to Suga he is greeted by a couple of missed calls and even more texts from Oikawa, all demanding some sort of explanation of why Hajime is ignoring him and who he is with that is apparently so much more interesting than his best friend.

Hajime doesn’t have to listen to the voicemails to know that they’ll just be more of the same, and doesn’t bother to reply in any way. Instead, he stuffs his phone in his pocket and goes straight to Oikawa’s apartment.

\-----

There is no reply when Hajime rings the doorbell, not like he expected there would be one. He slams his fist against the door instead.

“Open up asshole! I know you’re in there,” he yells.

One of Oikawa’s neighbours stares at him like she’s wondering if she should call the police, Hajime tries to give her his most reassuring smile, but judging by how quickly she retreats to her own apartment, it doesn’t come off as friendly as he was hoping.

So Hajime starts knocking again.

“I’m going to get arrested if you don’t open up!”

He can hear the shuffling of footsteps on the other side of the door and the turning of a lock before the door opens a few centimeters, the chain still in place.

“Let me in, Oikawa,” Hajime demands through clenched teeth.

“I’m busy Iwa-chan.” He still can’t quite see Oikawa but his voice is different from usual, small but with an annoyed lilt to it, only adding fuel to Hajime’s anger.

“I don’t care if you’re busy, we need to talk.”

The door closes again and for a moment Hajime is sure he’s going to have to kill Oikawa but then it opens again, fully this time.

“I don’t want to talk,” Oikawa says, still not meeting Hajime’s eyes.

“Tough luck.” Hajime steps past Oikawa and into the living room. He hears the front door close and Oikawa’s shuffling footsteps as he follows Hajime into his own house.

“What the fuck was that?” he asks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Oikawa says.

Hajime stares at him and pulls out his phone. “You sent me _thirty seven_ messages demanding attention! Why the fuck would you do that?”

“You’re the one suddenly acting weird.” Oikawa's arms are crossed over his chest but he’s still looking at his feet.

When Hajime takes a step closer, he sees Oikawa flinch. It almost makes him feel bad. “How am I acting weird? I’m not the one texting and calling because I need to know who you’re going on dates with!”

That finally makes Oikawa look up. “So it was a date! Why didn’t you say so when I asked, Iwa-chan?”

“Why the fuck do you care if I go on a date or not?”

“Because you never went on dates before!” This time it’s Oikawa taking a step forward until they’re almost nose to nose. “You turned down every single confession in high school but now you’re suddenly deciding to say yes to every person you meet?”

“Okay first of all, this is literally the first date I’ve been on since we started university and you know that because I _told you so_. Second, I didn’t date in high school because _someone_ never left me alone long enough to have free time!”

Hajime can see the hurt flickering in Oikawa’s eyes now they’re this close, but it’s only for a split second, and then Oikawa’s hands are on his chest and pushing him away. “You could’ve just told me to get lost if you hate me that much, Iwa-chan! If I was such a burden to you why didn’t you just cut me loose? It’s not like I need you, I would have been just fine without having you around all the time!”

“Like hell you would have been!” Hajime shoves Oikawa’s shoulder. “You’ve never been able to take care of yourself! You’ve always overworked yourself and if it wasn’t for me you would have burned out and messed up your leg permanently years ago!”

Oikawa closes his hand around Hajime’s wrist when he tries to walk away. “Don’t you dare bring that up again! Even though you pestered me about if for _years_ it still happened, so in the end it didn’t make a difference!” Oikawa’s grip tightens painfully. “I was under so much pressure to always do and be better and you never fucking understood that, but how could you? You never had enough determination!”

“Shut up!” Hajime yanks his arm back and out of Oikawa’s grip. “Just because I’m not completely insane about it doesn’t mean I’m not determined! Some of us just know when to stop to keep from hurting ourselves and the people that care about us! You’re the one who never had any idea about how your recklessness affected other people. You know what I did after you told me about that injury? I signed up for courses to start working towards a degree in sports medicine, just so that maybe some day I could help out people just like you and I wouldn’t have to feel so fucking _guilty_ anymore, but you didn’t even tell me until the last possible moment and then you brushed it off! I’ve been working so hard to keep up with you my whole life. So don’t try to give me that bullshit about me not being determined enough! You work incredibly hard, but sometimes it seems like opportunities just show up for you! Even without volleyball you’re still talented and smart. You get good grades, even if you don’t study, and your teachers love you. Everyone who has ever met you adores you and I’ve always been the guy who just hangs out with you, so forgive me for taking someone up on the offer of a simple fucking _date_ for a change!”

For once in his life, it seems like Oikawa doesn’t have an immediate reply. He still has his arm held up where Hajime shook him off and he stares with wide eyes at his best friend. His mouth opens a little, like he’s on the verge of saying something, before it closes again. Hajime rubs at the sting on his wrist, where he knows Oikawa’s grip will leave a bruise tomorrow.

“You’re not my only friend, Tooru, and you don’t get to decide who I spend time with,” he adds after a while, voice lowered to barely above a whisper.

Oikawa reaches for him again, balling the front of Hajime’s shirt in his fist, and pulls him close enough to drop his forehead on Hajime’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan.”

“Sorry isn’t really good enough, Oikawa. You’ve pulled some stupid shit before, but you can’t treat people like this.”

“I know,” Oikawa brings his free arm around to pull Hajime fully against him. “I’m so sorry, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime only tries to get away from Oikawa’s hold for a second, before he sighs in resignation and wraps his own arm around Oikawa's shoulders. He really is bad at denying Oikawa anything.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t be fine without you.” Oikawa has his mouth pressed to the fabric of Hajime’s shirt but this close to each other Hajime can hear every word. “I’ve never been fine without you. I’m _nothing_ without you there for me, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime pats Oikawa’s back. “Hey, that’s not true.”

“Yes it is. You’re the only thing that keeps me from being completely worthless.” Oikawa’s shoulders are drawn up and his head down in a clear display of insecurity Hajime hasn’t seen on him often. “Don’t ever leave me?”

“Don’t say that.” Hajime puts his hand on Oikawa’s cheek and gently guides him away from his shoulder until Hajime can face him. Oikawa is crying, tears streaking down his cheeks and coming to a stop against Hajime’s fingers. “Listen to me, you’re not worthless, and I never want to hear you say that again. You’re amazing Oikawa and you’ve done and overcome so many things to be proud of, and I am always proud of you.”

“You really think so?” Oikawa’s fist on his chest tightens in a way that must be painful. Hajime uses his free hand to ease its grip and runs his thumb across Oikawa’s knuckles between the two of them.

“I wouldn’t lie to you. And I’m not going to leave you either.”

At those words Oikawa breaks down completely He hiccups through his sobs and snot drips from his nose. He’s _such_ and ugly crier.

Hajime spends the better part of an hour on Oikawa’s couch with Oikawa even more clingy than usual, refusing to let go for even a minute and telling him how much he loves him every couple of minutes before he calms down enough to let go and is willing to let Hajime go back to his dorm, wondering why _he_ ended up being the one trying to make Oikawa feel better.

\-----

The next day Oikawa pretends that nothing happened.

They meet for lunch like usual and Oikawa talks about something that happened in his morning class, Hajime doesn't really pay attention. It’s not that he _wants_ to talk about their fight, but dismissing it completely, the way Oikawa is doing, doesn’t seem right to him either, not while he has a ring of bruises around his wrist that matches Oikawa’s fingers.

It wasn’t their first fight, not by a long shot, but it wasn’t like the others. It troubles him, in a way that is different from the fight about Oikawa hiding his knee injury from him. Maybe because, this time, things escalated so quickly from something as simple as Hajime hanging out with someone else. It shouldn’t feel like something that small could drive a wedge between the two of them, but it did.

“Anyway!” Oikawa changes the subject and Hajime finds himself listening again. “I found this great movie for tomorrow night, the trailer is absolutely awful and it has some of the worst reviews I’ve ever seen.”

“I can’t tomorrow,” Hajime says. He doesn’t want to hang out with Oikawa right now, not until he sorts out how he’s feeling about all of this at least.

Oikawa’s smile falters. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I made plans with Daichi a while ago, I just forgot to tell you.”

“But we always watch movies together on Saturday night.” Oikawa says.

“I know that,” Hajime sighs, “But can we skip it just this once? I’ll make it up to you next week.”

Oikawa bites his lip hard enough that Hajime worries he’s going to break the skin and draw blood.

“Okay, Iwa-chan. Whatever you want,” he finally replies and Hajime nods his appreciation.

The look in Oikawa’s eyes clearly says he’s not okay with it, but Hajime is not about to call him out on it. Neither of them wants a repeat of last night.

\-----

The next morning, Hajime stops by Daichi’s dorm room on his way to the showers. “Hey, please tell me you have nothing to do tonight.”

“Why?”

“I told Oikawa I was hanging out with you instead of him,” Hajime replies.

Daichi grins. “Trouble in paradise, huh?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Hajime says. “So, are you busy?”

“I’m meeting a friend for drinks, but you’re free to join us,” Daichi offers.

“Your friend won’t mind?” Hajime asks.

“Not at all, the more the merrier, right?”

“Thanks, I’ll see you tonight.”

\-----

A few hours later, Daichi leads Hajime into a bar just off campus that Hajime vaguely remembers from Oikawa dragging him out for drinks sometime last year. Daichi holds open the door for him and walks straight to the back of the room to an already occupied booth.

“Hey! I brought Iwaizumi, I said you wouldn’t mind.” Daichi says as a greeting.

Hajime raises his hand and opens his mouth to introduce himself when Daichi’s friend turns around and he sees a familiar face with a beauty mark under the left eye.

“Hello, Iwaizumi-kun, I was wondering if I was going to get to see you again,” Suga says.

Before Hajime can come up with an excuse Daichi cuts him off. “Wait, you know Iwaizumi?”

“I told you about the cute guy I went on a date with last week, Daichi,” Suga replies.

“You didn’t tell me it was Iwaizumi!” Daichi says, looking at Hajime like he’s trying to figure out why anyone would describe him as ‘cute’.

“Well, he didn’t call me, so I thought he had forgotten about me already,” Suga sighs.

“I wanted to call,” Hajime says quickly, “My week was just really busy, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Suga smiles at him, that smile that makes Hajime’s heart skip a beat. “But you should still give me your phone number. In case you get busy again.”

“Yeah, of course,” Hajime says and takes the phone Suga handed him to input his own number.

Daichi coughs. “I’m just going to get a round of drinks now. Iwaizumi, is a beer okay?”

“Sure, thanks,” Hajime replies, distracted by Suga’s phone.

When Daichi turns away from them to head towards the bar, Suga scoots over a little so Hajime can sit down next to him.

“Tell me about what’s been keeping you busy,” Suga says.

“You know,” Hajime waves his hand. “The usual beginning of the school year crap. If you believed my teachers, you’d think that exam week starts tomorrow.”

Suga smiles at him, that smile Hajime has been thinking about at least once a day since last week. Suga’s knee brushes against his and stays there. Hajime guesses that means Suga isn’t all that mad at him.

“What about you?” Hajime asks.

“Much of the same, although none of my other teachers saw the need to lecture for hours and hours on the first day.”

Hajime laughs. “I really thought you had stood me up, you know.”

“Is that why you didn’t call or text for a full week?“ Hajime knows it’s a joke from Suga’s expression and tone, but he can’t help his twinge of guilt.

“I’m really sorry about that, I guess I’m just not used to these kind of things.”

Suga rests his hand on Hajime’s arm. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I get to see you again at all.”

Before Hajime can come up with a reply, Daichi interrupts them with his return to their table with drinks and sliding into the other side of the booth.

“You’re making me feel like I’m the one tagging along, not Iwaizumi. When did the two of you meet anyway?” he asks, taking a sip from his own drink.

“I got lost on campus last week, Iwaizumi-kun graciously walked me to my classroom,” Suga replies easily.

“You make it sound a lot more smooth than it was,” Hajime grumbles.

“I thought it was quite cute how you couldn’t stop staring.”

Daichi groans loudly before Hajime can respond to that. “Can you guys stop flirting so shamelessly? It’s really bringing me down.”

“It’s your own fault for not introducing us earlier, Daichi,” Suga says. “How did you even manage to hide a friend of yours that lives next to you?”

Daichi throws up his hands in defense. “It just never came up? It’s not like Iwaizumi and I hang out all the time.”

Suga pouts, his bottom lip sticking out in a way that seems both childish and inviting to Hajime. If Daichi wasn’t sitting across from them he thinks he would definitely lean in and see if it’s as soft as it looks. He is still weighing the pros and cons of doing so when someone clears their throat next to their table.

“You should’ve told me you were going out, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime looks up to find his best friend grinning at them like he was just forced to swallow something disgusting.

“I didn’t know where we were going. What are you doing here?” Hajime asks.

“Oh, some classmates were talking about coming here and I decided to come check it out since my Saturday evening suddenly freed up,” Oikawa says. “Who is your friend?”

Hajime sits up a bit straighter, putting a little bit of distance between himself and Suga. “You already know Daichi.” He motions towards Daichi. “And this is Sugawara Koushi, we met on campus at the start of the school year.” Oikawa’s gaze moves slowly over Suga, like he’s trying to size him up. “And this is Oikawa Tooru, my childhood friend.”

“Childhood and _best_ friend.” Oikawa leans over him to shake Suga’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you Sugawara-kun, I don’t believe that Iwa-chan has told me anything about you.”

“Please, call me Suga,” Suga replies, all smiles. “That’s a shame, Hajime-kun told me a lot about you.”

Hajime looks over to Suga, his first name sounding foreign coming from the mouth of anyone other than his mother. When he turns back to Oikawa, he sees he’s not the only one surprised by that.

Hajime furrows his brow, about to say something, when Oikawa’s grimace shifts into his usual facade smile.

“I’m not surprised,” Oikawa says. “Iwa-chan doesn’t have that many friends, and definitely none more interesting than me.”

Hajime rolls his eyes. “Someone really needs to knock that ego of yours down a peg.”

Suga laughs, and Oikawa stares at him. Thankfully, Suga doesn’t appear to be the type to be intimidated that easily.

“I’m sure you are very interesting indeed, Oikawa-san,” Suga says. “Do you want to join us? I would love to hear some embarrassing stories about Hajime-kun as a child.”

“Hey!” Hajime interjects.

Oikawa waves the offer away. “Another time, unlike our darling Iwa-chan, I have tons of friends to hang out with on a Saturday night.” He puts his hand on Hajime’s shoulder and grips it, before walking off again with a short wave, leaving the three of them alone to get back to their conversation.

“You’ve been on one date and you’re already on a first name basis?” Daichi asks. “It took me a year to convince Iwaizumi to call me Daichi.”

“I just wanted to see his reaction,” Suga replies.

“Mine or Oikawa’s?” Hajime asks.

“Both.” There’s a dangerous glint in Suga’s eyes that Hajime thinks is very, very attractive.

Daichi groans loudly. “Will you two _please_ get a room and leave us poor single folk alone?”

\-----

“I think you owe me a real date,” Suga says.

“This isn’t a real date?” Hajime asks, gesturing to the coffeeshop around them.

Suga laughs. “I mean a _real_ real date. I enjoy getting coffee with you after class but I want to go out to dinner some time.”

Hajime looks down at his coffee cup to avoid making eye contact. “Okay, we can do that.”

“You could be a little bit more enthusiastic about it.”

Hajime looks up to see if he’s offended Suga, but he’s still smiling. “I've never taken someone out to dinner before,” he explains.

“Not even once?” Suga asks, clearly surprised.

“I never got much attention,” Hajime says. “It’s kind of what happens when you’re always next to Oikawa.”

“Clearly they didn’t pay enough attention. You are very interesting, Iwaizumi-kun,” Suga replies.

Hajime laughs. “So are you.”

“So, on Friday, you’re going to meet me in front of my dorm at seven and we’re going out for dinner and seeing a movie afterward,” Suga explains.

“Dinner and a movie? Isn’t that a bit of cliché?” Hajime asks.

Suga smiles. “It’s only a cliché because it works, Iwaizumi-kun. So, you’ll be there?”

“Yes sir,” Iwaizumi replies, downing the rest of his coffee to hide his grin.

\-----

Hajime stands outside of Daichi’s door for a couple of minutes, wondering if he should even knock, when Daichi clears his throat from the other side.

“I can’t study when you’re hovering there, either come in or go home.”

Hajime walks in with an apology already half formed in his mouth when he sees Daichi is not, in fact, studying but instead lying on his bed reading something on his phone.

“You said you were studying,” Hajime says, before sitting down on the foot of the bed.

Daichi bends his legs to make room for his friend and puts his phone on his night stand. “Just trying to make you feel bad. What were you standing out there for anyway?”

“I have a date on friday,” Hajime confesses.

“Okay.”

“With Suga,” he clarifies.

“I thought as much,” Daichi replies, squinting with clear confusion on where Hajime is going with this.

“I haven’t been on a real date before.”

“You were the ace of your high school volleyball team and you have arms that look like that, how did you not get a date before now?” Daichi asks.

Hajime shrugs. “People got distracted by Oikawa.”

“Are you sure they just didn’t think you and Oikawa were dating?”

“Why the hell would anyone think _that_?” Hajime asks.

Daichi shrugs. “I thought you were, until I saw you and Suga together that is. It just seemed that you and Oikawa were always around each other and spending all your time together. And Oikawa seems pretty physical with you, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a lot of people who thought you two were going out.”

“But we’re just friends,” Hajime says.

“You are aware that that is the biggest rom-com cliché there is, right? People fall in love with their best friends all the time.”

Hajime shakes his head. “No way, I could never date Oikawa.”

“What about him though?” Daichi asks, “I don’t know him that well, but he seemed pretty jealous seeing you with Suga.”

“I think he was just annoyed that I blew him off and hung out with you two instead. Outside of volleyball practice and things we did with the whole team, I never hung out with anyone other than Oikawa.” Hajime lets his head fall back against the wall next to Daichi’s bed and stares at the ceiling.

“He couldn’t have expected that he would be able to keep you all to himself forever,” Daichi says. “If it’s the way you say it is, he’ll get used to it with time.”

“You’re right, he’ll come around sooner or later,” Hajime sighs. “But he was such an asshole when I didn’t tell him I met up with Suga, I didn’t want to ask him for dating advice.”

“So you came to me instead?” Daichi asks. “I’m touched to be your second choice.”

“Well, you know Suga better than I do,” Hajime explains.

“True,” Daichi replies, chest puffing out with pride just the tiniest bit. “Tell me what Suga has planned.”

\-----

“This new restaurant opened up a few blocks from my place, their agedashi tofu is supposed to be really good,” Oikawa says. “Want to go check it out tomorrow?”

“Hmm, tomorrow?” Hajime asks, looking up from his notebook.

“That’s what I said, Iwa-chan. Unless you’re busy on a Friday night?”

“Shit, I actually am,” Hajime replies.

Oikawa pouts. “First missing out on our regular movie night and now this, you never want to hang out anymore.”

“It’s not that!” Hajime throws his hands up in defense. “It’s just that I already had something planned, you’re asking me to come with you pretty last minute you know.”

“What kind of something?” Oikawa asks, leaning in a little too close for comfort.

“I’m... meeting with some classmates for a group project,” Hajime lies.

“On a Friday night?” Oikawa asks, clearly disbelieving that _anyone_ would organize a study group right before the weekend..

“Yeah, it’s not my favorite either, but one of them needed to go home this weekend so there was no other time,” Hajime says. He’s biting the inside of his cheek, already hating himself for lying.

“Well, if they have to go home, that’s fine I guess,” Oikawa says, backing off.

“Yeah,” Hajime replies weakly. “But hey, we are watching a movie at your place on Saturday, right? Why don’t we go get some food before that?”

At his suggestion, Oikawa perks up. “That’s a great idea! Dinner and a movie with Iwa-chan, it kind of sounds like a date, doesn’t it?” he hums happily.

“In your dreams,” Hajime says.

\-----

That Friday night, Hajime finds himself standing outside Suga’s dorm at quarter to seven.

The days are getting noticeably longer, and the sun has barely just begun to set, tinging the sky with beautiful streaks of orange and pink. He’s looking up at the sky when he’s shaken out of his absent minded thinking by a tap on his shoulder.

“You’re early, Iwaizumi-kun,” Suga says, looking pleased about it.

“Just didn’t want to be late,” Hajime replies.

Suga smiles and he somehow seems to look more breathtaking every time Hajime sees him.

“You look great,” he says.

“So do you,” Suga replies, reaching out to smooth a wrinkle out of Hajime’s blazer. “You clean up very nicely.”

“Thanks,” he replies, offering his arm for Suga to take. “So, where is this restaurant you wanted to go to?”

\-----

The restaurant is a couple of blocks from campus. It looks to be a new place, with a line of curious diners outside, waiting for seating to open up.

“Are you sure you want to eat here? It looks busy,” Hajime asks when it becomes clear that this restaurant is where Suga is leading him.

“It’s fine, I made a reservation,” Suga says with a wink, and leads him up past the line that, upon closer inspection, seems to consist entirely out of couples out on a date night, and into the restaurant itself.

It’s an intimate sort of space, filled with soft music and candles to light up the room just enough to see the person sitting across from you at the table. Suga exchanges some words with the host and they’re led to a table in the corner of the restaurant, just secluded enough to be able to have a private conversation. They sit down and the waiter hands them their menus.

“I was told that they have really good agedashi tofu,” Suga says, and Hajime suddenly realizes they’re at the same restaurant Oikawa was going to take him to.

He swallows. “How do you even know that’s my favourite thing to eat?”

“I have my sources,” Suga smiles.

“If you went out of your way to find a place that serves it, I can’t really order anything else,” Hajime says.

“Oh it’s not just for you,” Suga says quickly. “They also serve a good spicy mapo tofu.”

“Spicy mapo tofu?” Hajime asks, right brow raised.

“Not what you expected?”

“No not really,” Hajime says. “I guess I expected something… sweeter?”

Suga laughs. “It’s the name isn’t it? You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard that joke.”

“No, no it’s not that!” Hajime interjects. He pauses. “Well, not _just_ that. Delicate and sweet things seem to fit you. Although, I guess I can also see a dish that packs more of a punch, given how aggressively you asked me out.”

Suga’s ears turn the loveliest shade of pink and he hides his mouth behind his menu. “One of us had to be aggressive, Iwaizumi-kun.”

“Were the other dates really that bad?” Hajime asks.

“Oh no, definitely not,” Suga replies, setting his menu down. “It’s just that I thought it was time to do things a little more seriously, don’t you?”

Hajime sets down his menu as well. “What do you mean ‘seriously’?”

Suga reaches across the table and lays his hand over Hajime’s. “I mean,” he says while stroking Hajime’s fingers with his thumb. “That I like you a lot Iwaizumi-kun, and that I would like for you to be my boyfriend.”

Now it’s Hajime’s turn to blush, but he covers Suga’s hand with his free one. It’s warm and soft but secure, just like the man it belongs to.

“I’ve never been a boyfriend before, are you okay with someone like me?” he asks.

“Absolutely,” Suga replies, smiling brilliantly in a way that drowns out the rest of the room.

\-----

Hajime doesn’t know what the movie is about, he let Suga pick whatever he wanted and they're sitting in the back row, where the only thing Hajime can focus on is Suga’s hand in his and how Suga had asked him to be his boyfriend.

That is, until Suga leans over the arm rest and kisses him in the middle of the movie. Leaving no room for Hajime to focus on anything other than his lips and tongue until the lights come back on after the movie ends, smiling sheepishly at the other patrons who no doubt are able to see how red and bruised his lips feel.

He takes a deep breath when they step outside of the theater, the cool evening air calming his racing heart.

“That was kind of unfair of you,” Hajime says.

“Would you rather have paid attention to the movie?” Suga asks, grabbing hold of Hajime’s arm as they start the walk back to campus.

“Would you have let me?”

“Definitely not,” Suga grins. “You’re too good a kisser to pass up on that.”

Hajime smiles back. “Look who’s talking.”

Suga laughs out loud and walks just a little bit closer. Hajime thinks it’s nice, with the nights barely any warmer than they were in winter, to have someone close to keep you warm. He can’t help fondly looking over to Suga as he talks about anything and everything, nearly making Hajime walk into a lamppost. If it wasn’t for Suga tugging on his arm to steer him the right way, he would have. He doesn’t think he’s been this happy in some time.

When they reach Iwaizumi’s dorm, they stop outside, both not wanting the night to end just yet.

“I had a really nice time,” Hajime says. “Thanks for telling me to take you out on a real date.”

“Anytime, Iwaizumi-kun,” Suga replies. “So, does that mean you’ll take me out again?”

“Whenever you want,” Hajime says.

Suga closes the gap between them and presses his pretty mouth to Hajime’s. He brings his hand up to touch Suga’s cheek and he can feel Suga’s lips curl into a smile against him. When Suga starts to pull away, Hajime uses his hand to keep Suga steady and deepens their kiss as a tribute to the way Suga kissed him in the theater.

Suga’s surprised moan followed up by a pleased hum sets every single inch of Hajime’s skin on fire and by the time they break apart for air, his head is spinning.

Suga leans in, mouth close to Hajime’s ear. “Are you going to ask me to come upstairs with you?”

Hajime absentmindedly looks up to his window, and is surprised to see the light on. The only other person with a key to Hajime’s room is the building’s supervisor, and Hajime is sure that he would only enter it while Hajime was out if there was something wrong.

“Sorry, looks like there’s something going on with my room,” he apologizes. “I should go see if everything is alright. Raincheck?”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Suga replies, leaning in for one more quick peck before heading off to his own dorm, waving over his shoulder until he’s out of sight.

Hajime sighs and rubs the back of his neck as he walks up the stairs to his room, pleasantly distracted by thoughts of Suga’s mouth on his own, until he reaches his door, already cracked open and light spilling out into the hallway.

“Is there a problem?” he asks, pushing the door open further.

“There is.”

Sitting cross legged on his bed is Oikawa, staring down Hajime without even the smallest hint of his usual facade to blunt the anger in his eyes.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Hajime asks. He looks back at the door, sure that he locked up before he left.

“I could ask you the same thing, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “I thought you were working on a group project tonight.”

Hajime blinks. “I was, I just got back.”

“Must have been an interesting project,” Oikawa says, pointing at the window. The window facing the front of the dorms. The window that had been lit up when Hajime came home.

_Shit._

“Why are you lying to me, Iwa-chan?” The nickname is holding none of it’s usual warmth.

Hajime crosses his arms over his chest and stares right back at Oikawa. In theory he should be able to handle the way Oikawa is looking at him, he’s seen that look aimed at rivals on the other side of the net more times than he can count. In practice, he now knows why their opponents were all afraid of his captain, and he looks away.

“You’ve known this guy for just a few _weeks_ , I’ve known you since you were four years old. He’s not good enough for you,” Oikawa says, like that makes even the slightest bit of sense.

“And who are you to decide what’s good enough for me?” Hajime retorts, “You go on dates with people whose names you can barely remember the next day all the damn time, but the one time someone genuinely likes me you suddenly have an opinion about what is and isn’t _good enough_!?”

Oikawa doesn’t budge at his harsh tone. “If you think he’s good enough, why are you constantly lying about meeting up with him?”

“Because you’ve never been anything but shitty every time I say something about Suga!” Hajime yells, no longer caring that the dorm walls are paper thin.

“First Sawamura-kun and now this! You are setting me aside and cancelling plans for this _Suga_ ,” Oikawa says the name like a curse word. “How can you do this to me, Iwa-chan? I just want you to be happy, I don’t want you to get hurt!”

“I won’t get fucking hurt, I can take care of myself you asshole!” Hajime takes the few steps needed to close the distance between himself and his best friend and grabs him by the collar. “Suga is nice and I like spending time with him and right now the only person that’s making me upset is _you_.”

From this close Hajime can see the ice in Oikawa’s eyes melt and make way for a fear that almost makes him feel bad. Hands come up around his wrist, not to dislodge his grip but to keep him where he is.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, “You know I only want what’s best for you.”

“You keep saying that but the only thing you seem to want is for me to stay away from everyone else,” Hajime sighs.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know that.” Hajime drags his free hand through his hair. “But you can’t be like this, Oikawa, we talked about this before. You’re not my only friend, and I don’t want to be your only friend, either.”

Oikawa’s grip on his wrist softens as he starts stroking the skin on the inside of the arm. “I just miss how we used to be in high school, you know? When we were always together at and outside of school. Now, you seem to spend all your time with Sawamura-kun, and all your other new friends.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Hajime replies. “You couldn’t really have expected it would stay that way forever. We are not the same person, Oikawa.”

Oikawa just nods. Hajime lets go of his shirt and moves his hand up to rest on the side of his best friend’s neck. Oikawa leaning in to the touch like it’s the only thing grounding him to this world.

“We’re both going to have different friends. And maybe we’ll date people the other doesn’t like but you’re always a constant in my life and it’s important to me that you try to get along. I like Suga a lot, and I would really like to keep seeing him so please, Tooru, try? For me?” Oikawa closes his eyes and breathes out slowly at the sound of his first name.

“Anything for you, Iwa-chan.”

\-----

When Hajime tries to visit Daichi to hang out a few days later, he’s met with a locked door. He’s pretty sure that, when he texted Daichi earlier to ask if he was free tonight, he said it was fine to come over. Hajime pulls out his phone to check anyway and decides to shoot Daichi a message to ask if something came up.

When there’s no reply ten minutes later Hajime decides that Daichi must be in the library with his phone off, and goes back to his own room.

\-----

“Iwaizumi-kun, have you heard from Daichi lately?” Suga asks when he calls the next morning. “He was supposed to meet me for breakfast and he’s not picking up his phone.”

“Not since yesterday morning. We were going to hang out last night but he wasn’t home. I thought he might be holed up studying in the library,” Hajime replies.

“I already checked, he’s not there,” Suga says. “It’s not like him to not respond to missed calls or texts.”

“Maybe he spent the night somewhere and his phone died?” Hajime suggests.

Suga hums. “That doesn’t sound like Daichi to me.”

Hajime has to admit that it doesn’t to him either. “Look, whatever it is I’m sure he has a perfectly good excuse.”

“You’re right,” Suga replies. “Let me know if you hear something?”

“Sure.”

\-----

“It’s been three days already,” Hajime says, lying on his back on the couch in Oikawa’s living room. “Where the hell could he be?”

“Did you talk to Sugawara-kun?” Oikawa chimes in from the kitchen where he’s getting them drinks.

“That’s the first thing I did, he hasn’t heard anything either,” Hajime says.

Oikawa clicks his tongue. “Sawamura-kun is so rude.”

He walks back into the room with two mugs of tea. Hajime sits up straight and scoots over to make room for Oikawa, who hums his approval as he sets the mugs down on the coffee table and sinks down into the soft pillows.

“Maybe he just got busy with schoolwork,” Oikawa muses.

“He’s not in his room and Suga checked the library,” Hajime replies.

“Maybe he just wants some time alone,” Oikawa says.

Hajime raises his eyebrows at him.

“Getting overwhelmed by college happens to the best of us, Iwa-chan.”

“He was just fine when I last talked to him, he would have said something,” Hajime says.

“Maybe he isn’t as good a friend as you think he is,” Oikawa retorts.

Hajime narrow his eyes at him. “What happened to you accepting that I have friends beside you?”

Oikawa raises his hands. “I’m just coming up with possibilities, Iwa-chan. No need to get so defensive.”

Hajime would like to complain, but the truth is that Oikawa really is just helping. Even if his suggestions are bullshit.

“I just wish someone could tell me that it was nothing and he has a good reason for not calling or texting,” Hajime confesses.

Oikawa shifts down on the couch until he can comfortably rest his head on Hajime’s shoulder.

“There’s never a good reason to ignore you, Iwa-chan. You deserve better than that.”

\-----

It’s been two weeks since Hajime, or anyone else, last heard from Daichi, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult for him to focus on anything except that.

He scours every news website he can find on his phone, and even goes as far as to buy the local newspaper every morning. Searching for anything that will give the slightest hint to where his friend is. After classes, he joins the search parties set up by the police. Walking with a flashlight until deep into the night and really hoping he won’t find a shallow grave.

Suga went back to his hometown a week ago, to help look and be there for Daichi’s family and their mutual friends, and being alone in his dorm room is slowly driving Hajime insane.

To avoid the silence that gives him too much time to think, he packs a bag and heads to Oikawa’s apartment, who lets him in with soft smile that might have been pitying and a promise to watch Godzilla that night.

Hajime sleeps next to him in his bed, lured to sleep by Oikawa’s steady breathing and the whispered murmurs that his best friend will make sure that no one will ever hurt him.

\-----

He’s woken up at 5am by his phone ringing, groping for it blindly with Oikawa murmuring his annoyance on the other side of him. He checks the caller ID before hastily picking up.

“Suga?”

“They found him.”

\-----

Someone in the campus search party found the body a few hours earlier, floating face down in the river that runs a few kilometers from Daichi’s dorm.

Hajime sits in the hospital, on a bench outside the morgue, with Suga next to him keeping a vice grip on his hand. Daichi’s parents are inside, identifying their son’s corpse.

A police officer tells his superior that the cause of death is the same as the student that disappeared from campus a few months ago in barely hushed voices. Hajime thinks Suga might break his fingers with how hard he’s holding on.

The door opens and Daichi’s parents come out. His mother is sobbing and Suga quickly stands up to hug her. She clings to his shirt hard enough that it looks like she might rip it. Daichi’s father, who looks so much like him, is deathly pale and excuses himself to the bathroom. The sound of someone hitting a wall and muffled crying can be heard through the closed door and both Suga and Daichi’s mother follow him in to comfort him.

Hajime stays on the bench, frozen with the shock of everything that has happened in the last couple of hours. He has his hands folded in his lap, unconsciously rubbing the fingers Suga crushed earlier to get the blood flowing in them again, and stares at the door.

His friend is lying on the other side of that door on a cold slab and Hajime is never going to see him again.

He stands up and leaves without saying anything to anyone, sure that Suga and Daichi’s parents are in enough pain to not notice him leaving.

\-----

Hajime isn’t sure how long he’s been laying in bed. The sheets are pulled over his head to keep out any light that might indicate how much time has passed. A few times, there’s been knocking on his door, pleas from friends and worried hallmates for him to come out, but they all go away after a while. Suga called him once to tell him he’s going back with Daichi’s parents to take care of things and to let him know when the funeral was. Hajime doesn’t even remember what he said back. What do you say to someone, when their best friend gets murdered?

The next time someone comes to his door, there is no knocking, just the soft scrape of a key and then a click as the door unlocks. Hajime wonders if someone finally went to get the building supervisor, if they’re gonna make him leave his bed, until the bed dips at his feet from another person sitting down. The weight of a familiar hand settles on his back, making small soothing motions through the sheets.

“There was nothing you could have done to keep this from happening, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says in a way that’s probably supposed to be reassuring.

It’s those words that finally release the sobs that have been threatening to spill out of his throat ever since Hajime learned Daichi had died. He can feel Oikawa curl around him on his bed, still separated by the sheets, and hush him softly as he moves his hands up and down Hajime’s back and arms as he cries.

He doesn’t know how long he cries, he doesn’t care, and only stops when his throat has started to hurt too much to get any sort of noise out.

Oikawa peels the blankets away, revealing the mask he always wore when their team lost an important match. One that he wore to make sure that his teammates were fine before he had any emotional reaction himself.

“It’s okay Iwa-chan,” he whispers, “It’s all going to be okay.”

Hajime believes it just as much as he always believed Oikawa’s pre-match speeches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a [fandom tumblr](http://grandkingshrine.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/oikavvva) if you want to listen to me complain about how writing is hard.


	3. Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take note of the updated tags

The suit Hajime is wearing used to belong to his father, and doesn’t fit very well. It’s too narrow in the shoulders, making the sleeves shorter than they already are, and the legs of the trousers are so long he has to be careful he doesn’t step on them and trip. He thinks that if Oikawa was here he would chastise Hajime for wearing such an ill-fitting suit.

Hajime also thinks that not even a perfectly tailored suit could make his friend’s funeral feel anything but awful.

He’s sitting in the back of the room, with a few people he recognizes from his classes and dorm but doesn’t know well enough to feel comfortable talking with. The only person in the room that he does feel comfortable with is sitting in the front row, next to Daichi’s parents, his silver hair standing out in the sea of black clothing. 

Hajime wishes he could be next to Suga, offer the little support he can and just be there for him. But Hajime had only known Daichi for a little longer than a year. There’s no way to compare the way he misses him to the way Suga does.

He watches people he doesn’t know talk about Daichi as a child, Daichi in middle school and then, finally, Suga speaks about his time in high school and the year of college he experienced. Suga’s knuckles are white from where he’s balling his fists at his side to keep the emotion off his face, but his voice wavers a little while he talks, and Hajime wants nothing more to go over to him and wrap him in his arms.

He finally gets the chance to do so at the reception afterwards, where Suga doesn’t waste any time before rushing over to him and pressing his face into the crook of Hajime’s neck. 

“Thank you for coming,” he murmurs against Hajime’s skin.

“Of course, he was my friend too,” Hajime replies, brushing his hand through Suga’s hair in soothing motions.

They let go of each other so Hajime can offer his condolences to Daichi’s parents, but he is only met with a small bow before they’re being whisked away by family.

“How are they holding up?” he asks Suga.

Suga bites his lip. “As well as can be expected, I guess. I don’t think they realize he’s dead just yet.” Hajime reaches out to grab his hand.

“What about you?” 

“About the same. I’m really hoping that it will be a while before it sinks in. I don’t think I can handle anything else right now.” 

Suga’s voice is smaller than Hajime has ever heard it and he doesn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms back around him. Shielding him from the heavy atmosphere of the room.

\-----

“How was the funeral?” Oikawa asks as he lets Hajime in and leads him to the living room. 

“Normal, I think,” Hajime answers. “I haven’t been to many.”

“Neither have I, but that’s a good thing, right?”

Hajime nods. “Better than the alternative.”

Oikawa pours them both a cup of tea and sits down at the dining table, gesturing for Hajime to sit opposite him. Oikawa’s back is straight and his face serious, he has his arms down on the table in front of him, framing the tea cup Hajime didn’t even knew he owned. 

Hajime sinks down on the only other chair.

“It was strange to see all these people that knew him before I did, and how they thought about Daichi in a completely different way,” Hajime says after a while. “It was difficult to imagine him as a child.”

“Well, you said yourself that people don’t stay the same way forever,” Oikawa replies.

“I did,” Hajime says. “We’ve been friends since we were kids though, and the way we changed seems a lot more gradual.”

“It doesn’t feel that way to me.” Oikawa’s voice is so quiet that Hajime almost doesn’t catch it.

“I’m not the only one who’s changed you know,” Hajime doesn’t really ask. “You’re different from when we first met.” 

“I was four when we first met, Iwa-chan. I would hope I have changed since then.” Oikawa pouts.

“You’re still just as clingy.” Oikawa lightly kicks Hajime’s shin under the table before Hajime continues. “But you’re also a lot, I don’t know, sharper than you used to be even a few years ago. I never realized how much volleyball kept you grounded.” 

Oikawa flinches, Hajime avoids bringing up the sport as much as possible for that precise reason. He knows the subjects will always be a sore one for his best friend.

“I can’t help that I can’t play anymore,” Oikawa says.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Hajime apologizes. “Did you know Daichi also played?”

“He played for the university team, didn’t he?” 

“It would have been nice to play with him, even just once.”

“Sawamura-kun looked like he would have been a strong player,” Oikawa says.

“He was a starter.”

“Definitely a strong player then,” Oikawa says. “I originally picked this school for it’s team, making it to a starting position this early in his second year means he must have been very good”

“Why did you still decide to come here after, you know?” Hajime makes a vague gesture towards Oikawa’s legs.

“Iwa-chan had already applied as well,” Oikawa says simply. “And it’s not like I was planning to do nothing but play volleyball.”

“You wouldn’t have rested until you made captain,” Hajime replies. Someone who trained so much that it damaged his knee for life would absolutely have fully immersed himself given half the chance.

Oikawa shrugs. “Iwa-chan wouldn’t have let me.”

“It would have been easier to hide all you extra practice now that we have different class schedules. You could have practiced alone or with anyone else on the team.”

“It wouldn’t be the same without you there with me.”

It’s such an honest answer that Hajime doesn’t know how to respond to it, so instead he finishes his tea.

\-----

Hajime thinks that it’s even more surreal that life goes on without Daichi than he did when Tsukishima died, and he feels guilty towards Tsukishima’s family for thinking it.

Daichi’s room down the hall is empty and the door is locked. Suga told him that Daichi’s parents came to the school to collect his things a few days after the funeral but nobody saw them. Hajime suspects they deliberately chose to come when most people would have had classes to avoid being confronted with more of Daichi’s friends wanting to express their condolences. 

Despite the room being empty there are notes and letters of sympathy stuck to the door, with more joining every day. Some are simple sticky notes with expressions of how much Daichi is being missed. Others are written out happy memories. The volleyball club put up some photos of Daichi during matches and promises that they’ll win the next game for him.

Hajime wonders if he can change rooms to one so far away that he doesn’t have to see the makeshift shrine ever again. He also wonders if the constant reminder that his best friend is dead is the reason that Suga won’t visit him anymore.

It’s not like Suga is avoiding him, not really, he still replies to Hajime’s texts and he sees him around the classroom buildings sometimes, so Hajime can only assume he’s going to classes normally, but every time he calls Suga to ask him how he’s doing, he’s met with his voicemail. The easy going Suga that would laugh at his jokes and never ran out of things to talk about now gives him one word replies and, when he does string a full sentence together, the words are dull, lacking any trace of humor. It worries Hajime. He knows that Suga is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, and that he’ll come to Hajime when he needs him, but Suga right now also doesn’t seem like the man he has come to know over the past months.

\-----

“I wish Suga would talk to me about all of it,” Hajime says to Oikawa after their usual Saturday night movie ends.

“You mean about Sawamura-kun?” Oikawa asks.

“That, but also in general. We haven’t really talked since the funeral.”

“You said they were best friends. I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone if anything happened to Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says.

Hajime hums his agreement. “Yeah me neither, but it’s frustrating.”

“Because he’s shutting you out?”

“He’s not. He’s just…” Hajime searches for the right word. “Distant.”

“If you say so, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “But to me it sure looks like he is avoiding you, you deserve better than someone who puts you to the side like that.”

“Didn’t you just say that you wouldn’t talk to anyone if anything happened to your best friend?” Hajime asks.

“Because I have no one else like Iwa-chan. Sugawara has you, but apparently that’s not good enough for him.”

“You know what? I can’t deal with this right now.” Hajime stands up and heads for the door. “You said you were going to stop being such a piece of shit about Suga but I guess that was too much to ask.”

He slams the door behind him when he leaves for good measure as well as to cut Oikawa off.

\-----

Hajime vaguely remembers a few cop cars parked on campus, but not actually seeing anyone in uniform after Tsukishima Kei’s death. Now that a second student has been murdered it seems like there is police everywhere. They are interviewing every student and teacher with any connection to either of the victims and it doesn’t take long for them to get to Hajime.

He’s called into a cleared out office in the administration building, the air conditioning on so high that his skin is covered in goosebumps the moment he steps inside. The only other person in the room is a detective with bleached hair, blatantly ignoring the no smoking signs placed all over the building.

“Iwaizumi Hajime?” he asks.

Hajime nods.

“Please have a seat,” the detective motions to the seat across from him and Hajime sits down.

“My name is Ukai Keishin, and I’ve asked you to come here to talk about the recent deaths on campus, if that’s okay?” 

Another nod.

“Good.” The detective, Ukai, taps the ashes from his cigarette into the paper coffee cup he’s using as an ashtray and shuffles the papers on the table in front of them. “Can you tell me how you knew the victims?”

“Dai- Sawamura and I lived in the same dorm and we were friends,” Hajime replies.

“What about Tsukishima Kei?” Ukai asks.

“We had a class together, I didn’t know him outside of that.” 

Ukai turns over a piece of paper. “One of your classmates told us that you often complained about having to work with Tsukishima.” 

“He wasn’t easy to work with,” Hajime explains.

“Would you say that you were often aggravated with him?” 

“I would say I was often _annoyed_ with him,” Hajime replies.

“Enough to want to harm him?” Ukai asks. 

Hajime clenches his fists under the table. “Am I a suspect?” 

“Just looking at all our leads, Iwaizumi-san. There’s no need to get defensive,” Ukai says, his voice tired. Hajime wonders how many people he has already interviewed today.

“No, I didn’t harm Tsukishima. I was annoyed with him but I sucked it up because there was nothing I could do about the situation,” Hajime replies.

“Do you have an alibi for the day he went missing?” Ukai sighs. 

“That was Friday the 27th, right?” Ukai nods. “I had classes until 5pm and after that I had dinner with a friend, I spent the night there.”

“What’s your friend’s name?” Ukai asks, picking up his pen to make a note.

“Oikawa Tooru.”

Ukai lifts a piece of paper from the pile in front of him and reads it over. “That name doesn’t show up in our files, did he know Tsukishima Kei?” 

“Not personally, I told him about him,” Hajime says.

“About how Tsukishima annoyed you?” 

“Yes, like I told him about all my classes,” Hajime clarifies.

“Could you give me his contact information before you leave, so we can verify this with him?” Ukai asks.

“Of course,” Hajime replies.

Ukai clears his throat. “What about Sawamura Daichi?” 

“What about him?” Hajime asks.

“You said you were friends, correct?” 

“Yes, we were.”

“We talked to a Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura’s closest friend. Is it true the two of you are currently in a relationship?”

“Yes, we started dating about two months ago.” 

Ukai snuffs out the rest of his cigarette in the paper cup. “Did Sawamura have any problems with the relationship?” 

“No,” Hajime replies, surprised. “not at all. He was surprised by it at first but he was fine with it.” 

“Are you sure about that?” 

“Positive, he would have said something if he wasn’t.”

“So you did not harbor any hostile feelings whatsoever towards Sawamura Daichi?” Ukai asks.

“Absolutely none.” 

“Can you give an alibi for the day he went missing?” 

Hajime rubs the back of his neck. “I went to class like usual and had lunch with Sugawara. I didn’t realize Sawamura was missing until he didn’t show up for the plans we made together for that evening.”

Ukai writes a few lines on one of the reports. “Okay Iwaizumi-san, you’re free to go now. If you would be so good to write down your friend’s number for me. And we might call you in if we have any other questions.” 

“Sure,” Hajime replies, scribbling Oikawa’s phone number on the piece of paper Ukai hands him. “Anything to help catch the person who did this.” 

Ukai stands up and Hajime follows his example. Before Hajime leaves Ukai hands him a business card with his phone number on it. “Give me a call if anything else comes to mind.”

\-----

To: Sugawara Koushi  
| was just called in for a talk with a detective he said he already spoke to you  
| hope youre doing okay

To: Oikawa Tooru  
| a detective is going to call you to check my alibi

From: Oikawa Tooru  
| ━(◯Δ◯∥)━ン  
| What should I tell them!?

To: Oikawa Tooru  
| the truth?  
| what else would you tell him?

From: Oikawa Tooru  
| That depends on the crime Iwa-chan! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

To: Oikawa Tooru  
| could you be serious for 2 seconds?  
| its about where i was when tsukishima went missing  
| they need you to confirm i spent the night with you

From: Oikawa Tooru  
| Of course Iwa-chan whatever you need!! (★´ω｀★)ゞ

\-----

Hajime is just about to take a much deserved break from studying, when his phone rings. Assuming it’s Oikawa reporting in on his talk with the detective, he picks up without bothering to check caller ID.

“That was fast, he already came to see you?” he asks by way of greeting.

“Uhm… What are you talking about Iwaizumi-kun?” Suga asks.

Hajime sighs, relieved to hear Suga’s voice again after so much silence.

“Sorry, I thought you were Oikawa,” he explains.

“I’m not sure I should take that as a compliment,” Suga says.

Hajime can’t help but smile. “Definitely not.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you back any sooner,” Suga says and Hajime can feel the smile sliding off of his face.

“It’s okay, I figured you just needed some time to process things.”

“That doesn’t mean I should have sidelined you. It was a shitty thing for me to do.”

“But you’re calling me now,” Hajime says.

“I’m calling you now,” Suga replies. “I understand completely if you don’t want to, but I was hoping you would like to meet up. I’m at the bar on the south side of campus.”

“I’ll meet you there in ten.”

\-----

The bar is especially busy for a weekday night, full of students drawn out of their poorly air conditioned rooms with the promise of cool drinks and the company of other procrastinators.

It still is easy to spot Suga at the bar and Hajime approaches him and taps him on the shoulder.

“Hey,” he says.

Suga spins around on his barstool and leans in for a chaste kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks for coming,” Suga says.

Hajime orders himself a beer and takes the stool next to Suga.

“Have you been here a while?” he asks, motioning at the small collection of empty shot glasses in front of his boyfriend.

“I just needed to get out for a while,” Suga replies, a complete non-answer.

“How are you holding up?” Hajime asks.

“Not very well, you already met the detective I had a very long talk with yesterday.” Suga sighs. “But I don’t want to talk about any of that right now. Drink with me?” 

“Anything you want,” Hajime replies, taking a sip of his beer.

Suga nods his approval and motions for the bartender to fill up his own glass again. “We can talk about Daichi some other time.” Suga’s face drops at his own mention of Daichi’s name. “Tonight I just want to spend some time with my boyfriend.” 

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Hajime replies.

Suga’s drink arrives and he downs half the glass in one go. “Try to keep up, Hajime-kun.” 

\-----

A few drinks later, it turns out that Suga wants to talk about Daichi after all. 

“And this detective asked me questions for an hour but wouldn’t answer any of mine, they probably don’t even have a suspect yet.” Suga’s voice is slightly slurred at this point and Hajime has some trouble understanding every word he says. Although that might have something to do with the fact that he’s getting pretty light-headed himself.

“He asked me if Daichi was upset about the two of us dating, I think he was fishing for a motive,” Hajime replies.

“He asked me the same thing,” Suga says. “He was my best friend, and the two of you were friends too. Why would he be upset at us dating?”

“That’s what I said.” Hajime finishes his drink and he can definitely feel the heaviness settle into his body. If the bar was cleaner he would have considered laying his head down on it.

“How is it possible that they haven’t arrested anyone yet?” Suga asks loudly. “We’re talking about a serial killer going after students for fuck’s sake!”

Hajime puts a hand on Suga’s arm to quiet him down. 

“Why is it taking so long?” 

“It’s only been a few weeks, don’t murder investigations sometimes take years?” Hajime wonders.

Suga slumps against his side, letting his head rest on Hajime’s shoulder. Through the thin fabric of his shirt Hajime can feel that Suga’s face is warm from the alcohol. It seeps through his entire body like he’s stepping into a bath. It’s definitely not uncomfortable.

“Daichi’s mother hasn’t left the house since the funeral, and his father barely ever leaves his work, I don’t think they could make it through a year. Maybe I should just find the killer myself,” Suga murmurs against Hajime’s shoulder.

“How would you do that?” Hajime asks, puzzled.

“I don’t know,” Suga admits. “I just feel like I have to do something.”

Hajime nuzzles Suga’s hair – it smells so _good_ – and wraps an arm around him. No longer caring that they’re pretty much cuddling in the middle of a crowded room. 

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” he pleads. “I couldn’t stand you getting hurt as well.” 

Suga lifts his head and turns to him, piercing eyes surprisingly sharp for how soft the rest of him has gotten. “You mean that?” 

“Of course,” Hajime says without having to think about it. “I care about you a lot. And I know you want justice for Daichi’s death, but right now I care about you being safe.” 

This time it’s Hajime who leans in to press a hesitant kiss against the corner of Suga’s mouth. Suga hums in approval at the contact and brings his hand to Hajime’s face, stroking along his jaw. Hajime smiles against Suga’s lips when he can feel him leaning in closer, presumably to deepen their kiss, until Suga slides right off his barstool and stumbles into Hajime, knocking their teeth together painfully. 

Suga yelps and covers his hand with his mouth. Hajime slides off his stool with only a little more grace. “I think it’s time to go home.”

“I’m sorry,” Suga says, taking hold of Hajime’s hand and squeezing slightly.

“It’s fine,” Hajime reassures him. “Come on, I’ll go pay and I’ll walk you home.”

\-----

The heat of the day has made way for a warm humidity that has Hajime’s shirt sticking to his back with sweat within seconds of leaving the bar. The only sound accompanying their trek to Suga’s dorm is the loud whirring of cicadas. Suga apparently has drunk enough to be unable to walk and talk at the same time and Hajime is more than happy to just have his boyfriend lean on him.

When they get to Suga’s dorm Hajime is gently but insistently guided inside before he can even form a goodbye. 

He follows Suga into the elevator and only realizes why Suga wanted him to come inside when he has him pressed against the metal wall and is kissing him senseless. Hajime eagerly opens his mouth and pushes his tongue past Suga’s teeth and he can _feel_ Suga groaning into his mouth.

The elevator comes to a halt with a ding and Suga leads Hajime by his mouth and a hand fisted into his shirt towards the right door. It takes a few tries to get it open since Suga refuses to stop kissing him but then they’re inside and it’s Hajime’s turn to slam Suga into the door and attack his mouth with tongue and teeth. 

Suga has his hands balled into the back of Hajime’s shirt and is not so subtly trying to tear it off him. Hajime pulls away. “Are you sure about this?”

“Hmm?” Suga hums in question, mouth working over Hajime’s jaw.

“You don’t just want this because you need a distraction?” Hajime asks.

Suga stops and leans back, widened pupils focussing on Hajime. “I want this because I want _you_. Do you not want to?”

“I definitely want to,” Hajime says.

“Good.” Suga smiles, lazily. “I’m glad we both agree.”

Suga returns his hands to Hajime’s shirt and pulls it up and over his head before throwing it somewhere in the room so his hands are free to roam Hajime’s chest and abs in clear appreciation.

“You’re so hot,” Suga whispers, trailing the line of hair down from his navel with a teasing finger.

“You’re one to talk,” Hajime replies and ducks down to suck at Suga’s neck to prove his point.

The back of Suga’s head collides against the door with a loud thud that immediately gets drowned out by an even louder moan. He fists his hands into Hajime’s hair to pull him closer and that’s all Hajime can handle before he is grinding against Suga’s leg.

He moves his mouth on Suga’s throat, leaving one reddening spot, and biting down to start another. If the walls are as thin as they are in Hajime’s dorm, the whole hall can definitely hear what they’re getting up to, but Hajime can no longer bring himself to care. Suga’s moans and whimpers are the most beautiful thing he has ever heard and he wouldn’t silence them for anything.

At least Suga had the good sense to wear a buttoned shirt and Hajime not so gently pries it open so he can continue his trail downwards. There is an endless amount of soft skin, dotted with more beauty marks, and Hajime silently promises himself that next time he’ll take his time to taste every inch of it. But right now the tightness in his jeans tells him he won’t make it that far. If he hadn’t been drinking so much he might have been embarrassed about how quickly he had gotten hard, but Suga’s pants are straining as well, and it’s incredibly difficult to concentrate on being embarrassed when Suga has his hand on his belt buckle. 

“Can I?” Suga asks. 

“Definitely.” Hajime bucks his hips more fully into Suga’s hand for emphasis.

Suga replies with a chuckle, low and deep in his throat and Hajime can feel his dick twitch at the sound alone.

Suga undoes his belt as well as the button and zipper and, for a brief moment, Hajime wants to sigh at how good it feels to not feel so restricted anymore but then a warm hand is cupping him through his underwear and he is pretty sure he has never wanted anything else in his entire life.

Eager to return the favor, he reaches for Suga’s pants but his hand is batted away swiftly while Suga rubs him slowly. 

“Let me touch you for a bit first,” Suga says, head buried against Hajime’s neck and mouth directly below his ear. 

Hajime shivers but nods his consent and bites his lip when Suga slides his underwear down and fully takes him in his hand. 

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath as Suga works him over so sweetly and it’s not enough. He needs more pressure. “Suga, _please_.”

“Tell me what you want.” Suga lightly bites at the soft skin on the underside of Hajime’s jaw, making it very hard to string a sentence together.

“I want you,” he manages. “Want to touch you, too.”

Suga undoes his own pants with his free hand and frees his cock. “Who am I to say no then?”

Hajime reaches out to touch him but Suga is quicker, bringing them close together and moving his hand so he can stroke them both off at the same time.

Hajime’s head drops to Suga’s shoulder and he’s breathing hard. Suga’s long, pretty fingers in combination with the silky skin of his dick cancels out any other sensation in his body.

“Easy there,” Suga says. He brings his free arm up to stroke the short hair at the nape of Hajime’s neck. “I’ve got you.”

There’s nothing Hajime can do but lightly buck his hips and ineffectively mouth kisses against Suga’s shoulder and neck as Suga builds him up fast. It doesn’t take him long at all until he’s groaning and biting down as he spills over Suga’s fingers.

“Holy shit,” he says once he has caught his breath.

Suga laughs. “That good?”

“The best.” Hajime takes a small step back, testing the strength of his legs and he has to catch himself against the door before he stumbles.

“Do you need to sit down?” Suga asks, and leads Hajime towards the bed before he has an answer. It’s not until they’re both sitting down that Hajime realizes that Suga is still hard.

“Fuck, sorry,” he apologizes and tentatively wraps his hand around Suga’s dick.

Suga hisses and arches his back. “Your hands are rough.”

“Sorry.” Hajime spreads the pre-cum gathered at the tip down the shaft to make the glide smoother. “Better?”

“Much,” Suga sighs. 

Now that they’re not pressed against each other, Hajime can truly admire how beautiful his boyfriend looks like this. His face is flushed warmly and his eyes are squeezed shut as he focusses on the feeling of Hajime’s hand on him. His hair is slightly damp with sweat and starting to curl at the ends. When Hajime continues his gaze down, he finds Suga’s neck covered in red bruises and bites from his own mouth, and he can’t help but lean in and kiss them softly.

Suga moans and buries his fingers in Hajime’s hair again to keep him where he is. Hajime smiles against his skin and starts stroking Suga faster when he finds an unmarked spot and bites down. The pull on his hair goes from coaxing to sharp and Hajime’s spent cock gives an interested twitch, something they’ll have to explore another time then. Right now he’s more invested in getting Suga off, and he brings his free hand up to stroke Suga’s nipple with the rough pad of his thumb.

“Hajime!” Suga all but cries out and Hajime does it again. A steady rhythm to match the pumping of Suga’s dick. Suga is now thrusting up to meet his fist in an erratic pattern that tells Hajime he’s close.

He works his mouth back up Suga’s throat with light kisses and licks until he reaches Suga’s ear.

“Come for me, Koushi,” he says with a confidence he wouldn’t have had a few drinks ago, before biting down on Suga’s earlobe. Suga goes rigid beneath his hands and Hajime can feel the warm come dribbling over his fingers as he slows his pace and works Suga through it.

When Suga finally bats his hand away from his oversensitive cock Hajime leans in to kiss him properly, his boyfriend’s mouth pliant and warm and entirely too good beneath his own. He breaks away with one lest peck to those pink lips and rests his forehead against Suga’s instead.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I’m great, wishing we had done this sooner,” Suga replies sluggishly and Hajime grins back at him. “You?”

“Fantastic.”

Suga blindly reaches out for a box of tissues he apparently keeps close to the bed and wipes the come off of both of them as best as he can, but it still leaves Hajime feeling slightly sticky.

“Is it okay if I go take a shower?” he asks when Suga tosses the dirty tissues into the waste basket.

“There are towels in the second drawer,” Suga says.

“Thanks.” Hajime pulls his jeans back on, foregoing his underwear, and grabs a towel before heading out to the bathroom, assuming that the layout of Suga’s dorm is more or less the same as his own. His steps are still unsteady, so he keeps a hand on the wall walking through the dim hallways until he reaches the bathroom.

The showers are empty, thankfully, but Hajime still selects the stall furthest away from the door and turns the water on a little colder than he usually prefers before stepping in.

The cold is soothing on his overheated skin and he quickly cleans himself up before leaning against the wall and letting it cascade over him, trying to decide if his sudden tiredness is from the alcohol or his earlier orgasm. He does know that he is missing the feeling of Suga’s soft skin against him now, and that he’d rather crawl into bed with his boyfriend than stay in the shower too long. He remains still just long enough to feel clean and slightly more grounded again before he dries off and heads back to Suga’s room with the towel wrapped around his waist, not in the mood to put his jeans back on.

When he returns to the room he’s met with the sight of Suga, naked aside from his underwear, lying on his back on the bed, holding Hajime’s phone. Suga looks up when Hajime walks in and puts the phone to the side.

“I didn’t take you as an exhibitionist.” 

Hajime shrugs. “I didn’t run into anyone else. Does it bother you?”

“Definitely not, I think you should drop that towel as well and come join me,” Suga replies.

Hajime doesn’t have to be told twice, he lets the towel drop to the floor and climbs on top of the sheets next to Suga, pressing them together from shoulder to toe.

“This is not how I expected tonight to go,” Hajime says.

“Not a bad surprise I hope?” Suga asks. 

“No, definitely not that,” Hajime replies. “But you seemed upset before.”

Suga rolls onto his side and raises himself up on his elbow so he can properly face Hajime. “I was upset, but that’s not why I wanted to have sex with you. Do you regret it?”

“No, I don’t,” Hajime says.

Suga smiles down at him and closes the small amount of space between them to press a soft kiss to Hajime’s lips. 

“We should sleep, do you have a class in the morning?” Suga asks when they break apart all too soon.

“Not until 10.” Hajime turns his head so he can press it against Suga’s shoulder when he lays back down and pulls a blanket over the both of them.

“Maybe we’ll have time for a round two when you wake up then.” 

“I’d like that a lot,” Hajime says. He wraps an arm around Suga and falls asleep in minutes.

\-----

When Hajime wakes up, it’s with his tongue feeling like sandpaper in his mouth. He’s in a bed he doesn’t recognize with a warm, heavy weight pressing down on his chest and arm, and with some kind of shrill noise attempting to split his head in two.

He rolls over with a groan, dislodging the weight he now recognizes as Suga and the night starts coming back to him in bits and pieces. A row of empty shot glasses on top of the bar, Suga leaning against him on the way back to the dorm, Suga pulling him inside, Suga stripping off his shirt, _Suga_.

He feels dizzy with all the new information his brain is trying to process and when he tries to sit up to clear his head, his stomach turns over. He carefully lays back down again, standing up seeming like an impossible task right now, but there’s still that noise that woke him up _somewhere_ and if it doesn’t stop soon, Hajime is going to die.

“Suga.” His voice is little more than a raspy whisper and makes his throat hurt.

Suga lets out a hum that turns into a pained groan halfway through. “What is it?” He raises his arm to cover his eyes as soon as he opens them.

“Did you set an alarm or something?” 

Suga rummages around beneath the covers and on the nightstand until he finds a phone, he lifts it close to his face to inspect it and hands it over to Hajime.

“It’s yours.” As Hajime fumbles with the device Suga rises slowly, seemingly having more success being vertical than Hajime, and climbs over him to get out of bed.

Hajime squints at the screen of his phone until his eyes are able to focus and learns that it was not an alarm attempting to kill him but someone trying to call him. Someone trying to call him fourteen times.

“Shit,” he mumbles and tries to unlock his phone with clumsy fingers.

Suga returns to the bed with two water bottles he got from the mini fridge in the corner. “Drink all of that, it will help,” Suga says. “What’s shit?”

“Oikawa, he’s been call-” Hajime stops talking when he finally manages to unlock your phone. “Why do I have a shirtless picture of you as my background?”

Suga must have taken it when Hajime was in the shower. He’s lying on the bed, a lazy grin on his face and every single love bite Hajime gave him on full display.

Suga looks over his shoulder. “I don’t remember that.” 

Hajime opens his texts and finds that it somehow got sent to Oikawa. 

“ _Shit._ I definitely don’t remember doing that,” Suga says when he sees. Hajime scrolls through his unread texts, he doesn’t have to read Oikawa’s messages to know what he’s saying and he pushes down his nausea through sheer willpower as he gets up and dresses in last night's clothes.

“I’m really sorry, Iwaizumi-kun,” Suga apologizes.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hajime replies, putting on his shirt and shoes at the same time. “It’s not that big a deal but I need to go right now.” 

“Yes, of course.” Suga stands up and follows Hajime to the door. Before Hajime takes off he leans in to kiss Suga’s cheek.

“I’m not angry or anything, I’ll call you tonight?” 

Suga smiles weakly and nods before he closes the door behind Hajime.

\-----

Hajime finds himself standing in front of Oikawa’s door in record time. He bends over and leans against his knees to catch his breath before calmly knocking.

There’s a shuffling noise on the other side of the door and it opens a fraction to reveal Oikawa looking just as upset as when they lost at the interhighs.

“Go home, Iwaizumi. I don’t want to see you.” 

Hajime all but flinches at the lack of nickname. “Come on, Oikawa, let me in?” he pleads.

“Why? Wouldn’t you rather go back to _Sugawara_?” Oikawa hisses out. 

“Listen, I know you’re upset but—” 

“You don’t know a damn thing about me!” Oikawa interrupts him. “Just because I said I would be supportive doesn’t mean that I want to see what he looks like when you fuck him!” 

“Please let me in? I don’t want to talk about this outside.” 

“Why not? You didn’t seem to have a problem sharing details about your personal life!” Hajime deserves that, probably.

“What do you want me to say? We both had too much to drink and I spent the night at his place.”

Oikawa’s jaw clenches and for a moment Hajime thinks he’s going to shut the door in his face but then Oikawa is stepping back and letting him inside. Hajime walks straight past Oikawa and into the kitchen where he gets himself a glass of water.

“Do you have any aspirin?”

“Cupboard under the sink.”

Hajime kneels down so he can properly look through the cabinet, when he feels Oikawa coming up to stand behind him. When Hajime gets back up again to down the aspirin and the rest of his water he finds Oikawa standing with his arms crossed and pointedly averting his gaze.  
“Did you sleep with him?” Oikawa asks when Hajime finishes his second glass.

“Dammit, Oikawa!” He puts the glass back down on the counter with way more force than necessary. “What does that matter?”

“Just tell me,” Oikawa says, now staring straight at Hajime.

“Yes, okay, I did! Why do you care?”

“So are you in _love_ with him or something?” Oikawa spits out ‘love’ like it’s the dirtiest curse he knows.

“Shit!” Hajime rakes a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know? Maybe? It’s been an emotional time and we were drinking and things just kind of happened! Wouldn’t it be weirder if I didn’t have sex with my boyfriend?”

“ _Boyfriend_!?” Oikawa scoffs.

“Yeah, boyfriend! What the fuck is your problem? Why can’t you just be happy for me like a normal best friend?” 

“Because you deserve better!” Oikawa shouts at him. “You haven’t even known him for that long!”

“So how long am I supposed to know someone before I can like them? A year? A decade? A _lifetime_? No one is going to live up to your weird expectations Oikawa, you’ll always find some sort of reason to shoot them down!”

“I’m just looking out for you,” Oikawa replies.

“No, you just don’t want to see me with anyone, why?” Hajime asks.

“Because you’ll forget about me!”

“That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said,” Hajime says. 

“Is it really? If you think I’m such an awful best friend why haven’t you left yet?”

“Because I’m worried that without me you would crash and burn!” Hajime says, As soon as they leaves his mouth, he regrets the words.

Oikawa stands up and strides out of the kitchen and into his bedroom and Hajime knows he crossed a line. He knows he should get up and follow his best friend so he can apologize, but he’s too worked up to do that right now. He knows that if he tries to talk to Oikawa, he’ll only make things worse for both of them. So instead, he gets up and walks out the front door without another word, telling himself he’ll text Oikawa when he’s calmed down.

\-----

Hajime calls Suga and asks him to meet up. Going back to Suga’s room or inviting him over to his own doesn’t sound like a good idea right now, so instead they decide to meet up at the coffeeshop where they had their first date. Hajime can’t help but smile when Suga orders a slice of apple pie along with his coffee.

“Were you able to smooth things out with Oikawa?” Suga asks when their order has arrived.

Hajime sighs. “Not exactly.” He tells Suga about their fight, while Suga drinks his coffee and doesn’t interrupt him and Hajime gets the chance to finally address his worry about Oikawa’s jealousy and his possessiveness. When Hajime finishes, Suga carefully sets his cup down.

“Why _are_ you still friends?” 

“I can’t remember not knowing Oikawa, I don’t know how to not be his friend,” Hajime replies.

“But what if that’s not what he wants?” Suga asks.

Hajime frowns. “To remain friends? I think it’s very clear that he does.” 

“I didn’t mean that he wants to not have any contact with you anymore,” Suga explains. “I think he wants more than friendship.”

“I have nothing more to give him.” 

“Then maybe you should tell him that outright. It sounds to me like he’s in love with you.” 

Hajime nearly chokes on a mouthful of warm coffee. “No, he isn’t,” he replies flatly, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“Did you ask him?” Suga asks.

“Why would I ask him _that_?” Hajime says.

“Because his jealousy seems more than that of just a friend, and you two have been fighting a lot because of it lately.” 

“He’s just protective,” Hajime argues.

“That’s not what you said earlier,” Suga says. “Why is it so hard to imagine that he could have feelings for you?” 

“Because he never said anything? He’s my best friend, he knows he can tell me anything.” 

“We already established that he’s afraid to lose you, Hajime,” Suga replies.

“Do you really think that I would refuse to be friends with him if he _liked_ me?” Hajime asks, surprised.

“No, I don’t. I know you’re a better friend than that, but I’m not Oikawa.” Suga reaches across the table and takes Hajime’s hand. “But no matter what his feelings actually are, he can’t be this possessive of you.” 

“I told him that before.” 

“But it keeps happening. I think you should be very clear with him and tell him that what he’s doing is hurting your relationship more than anything else. Right now, he’s acting like a jealous boyfriend and I’m not okay with that,” Suga says. “If you won’t tell him to stop this, I will.” 

Hajime strokes Suga’s palm with his thumb, but Suga looks away from him. “You’re right, we can’t keep doing this. I’ll talk to him, just give me a couple of days to calm down and collect my thoughts?”

“As long as you promise to fix this.” Suga lifts their joined hands to his mouth and kisses Hajime’s knuckles.

\-----

A few days later, Hajime finally has figured out how he wants to resolve things with Oikawa. He hasn’t spoken to him since their fight but he knows Oikawa’s schedule almost as well as his own and knows that his best friend will be home tonight to watch some trashy TV show he likes. He’s going to go over with a peace offering of take out food and they’re going to have a conversation without yelling at each other, like adults.

Feeling good about this plan, Hajime leaves his last class of the day wondering where would be the best place to get dinner when he notices a huge crowd of people at the main classroom building. Getting closer Hajime starts to be able to pick up snippets of conversation.

"What happened?" someone asks.

"An accident?" comes a suggestion. Hajime's heart rises to his throat as he moves closer.

"Could be a suicide?" a third voice offers.

The first person speaks again. "Who would do that in the middle of campus?"

“Who is it?” someone asks in front Hajime.

“Looks familiar.” the person standing next to her answers.

“He’s a second year, I think.” another chimes in and Hajime’s heart plummets back into his chest at the possibility another person he knows has died.

“He’s definitely dead, right?” a nervous looking girls asks.

“Grey hair,” someone mutters next to him and Hajime is not sure his heart is still actually bleeding.

“Look at all that _blood_ ,” says the person in front of him.

Hajime pushes his way through the rest crowd, ignoring the comments and complaints and unable to see anything but the reason for their gathering.

In front of the door is a student, or something resembling a student. His limbs are pointing in the wrong directions and have unnatural bends in them. He landed face first, his skull smashed against the pavement and a puddle of blood already going cold around his head, like a macabre halo. A halo around a very familiar silver head.

Hajime turns around and just manages to make it back through the crowd before his knees give in beneath him and he’s bend over and throwing up everything in his stomach. When that is empty, he starts dry heaving hard enough that he thinks he’s going to be spitting out his organs soon. Someone has a hand on his back, someone else is calling him disgusting.

Somewhere, endlessly far away, a siren can be heard. Someone already called for an ambulance that will definitely be too late. There’s no saving the already cold body of his boyfriend, broken on the ground and on display for everyone to see. 

He’s helped to his feet by someone he doesn’t know and there is a question if he needs someone to be called, but Hajime is already walking away, knowing there is only one person he can go to now.

\-----

He doesn’t remember how he got to Oikawa’s apartment, but it took him longer than usual, judging by the sun already beginning to set behind him, colouring everything in unfittingly beautiful shades of orange and pink.

The door opens, he doesn’t recall knocking, and Oikawa appears in the gap. From the way Oikawa’s face twists, Hajime can gather what he himself looks like.

“Hajime.” Oikawa physically reaches to pull Hajime inside and the moment the door closes behind them, Hajime loses every last bit of his remaining strength. Oikawa guides him down to the floor gently and is pulled there himself by the panicked grip Hajime has on his shirt.

“Suga,” Hajime stammers out, before his voice breaks and he can feel pure bile rising in his throat again.

“I heard,” Oikawa replies. 

Hajime, unable to form any other words, opens his mouth to just start crying. A wail that seems to be pulled up from his toes dragging through his entire body and coming out in something he would have found embarrassing in front of anyone but Oikawa, at any moment other than now.

Oikawa wraps his arms around him and Hajime presses himself tightly enough against his best friend that it has to hurt, but Oikawa says nothing. He just strokes soothing circles through Hajime’s shirt, the same way he had after Daichi died.

“He’s dead,” Hajime chokes out after some time. “First Daichi and now…”

“I know,” Oikawa murmurs in his ear. “I know. I’m here, I’m right here with you Hajime. I won’t leave you.” 

\-----

Hajime doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes up in Oikawa’s bed. The blankets are carefully draped over him and tucked in despite the late summer heat already seeping into the room, the handiwork of his best friend. He stretches his hand to feel the other side of the bed, trying to determine if Oikawa had stayed next to him all through the night, but the sheets don’t carry the warmth of a body.

He works himself free of the bed and pulls on the t-shirt Oikawa put out for him at the foot of the bed. He goes to the bathroom first, rinsing the remaining taste of vomit from his mouth – Oikawa must have made him brush his teeth at some point – and downing a glass of water. His stomach lurches when it arrives there, but this time Hajime manages to not throw up.

He finds Oikawa in the living room, curled up on the couch that is way too small to comfortably fit someone as ridiculously tall as he is. He’s going to be sore when he wakes up.

Hajime walks over to him, careful to not wake him up, and sits down on the floor next to the couch so he can study Oikawa’s face. It has always looked the most honest in sleep. Usually that meant that it was one of the few moments in the day that Oikawa wasn’t wearing his fake smile, but from this close by, Hajime can see that his face isn’t completely slack. There’s a line between his eyebrows, like he’s still frowning even now. He can’t help but reach out and softly trace it with his index finger, wondering if he is the one who put it there.

Oikawa instinctively leans away from the touch and breathes out a sigh against Hajime’s hand, the warm breath tickling the sensitive space between his fingers. 

Oikawa was right, he’s still right here, and he will always be here for Hajime. Hajime leans back against the couch and drifts off again with Oikawa’s breathing, a constant confirmation that he’s still alive, as a lullaby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suga's death is one of the first things I ever wrote for this fic, although it looked very different back [then](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3155966)
> 
> \-----
> 
> I have a [fandom tumblr](http://grandkingshrine.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/oikavvva) if you want to listen to me complain about how writing is hard.


	4. Fall

Suga’s funeral is more crowded than Daichi’s was, and this time Hajime isn’t sitting in the back. As Suga’s boyfriend, his place is almost at the front of the room, right behind Suga’s parents, who he would have preferred to meet under different circumstances, and among Suga’s closest friends. _Closest remaining friends_ he silently corrects himself. There’s a place left empty for Daichi next to his parents, who are still too caught up in their own grief to console anyone.

A hand comes to rest on Hajime’s knee, aiming to release the tension he wasn’t aware he was holding so obviously. 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asks. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong because everything is, he doesn’t ask how Hajime is feeling because he knows that Hajime has no idea where he would even start.

“They’re Daichi’s parents,” Hajime explains, nodding his head towards the pair completely unaware of what is going on around them.

“It must be difficult for them to be here,” Oikawa says.

Hajime nods and directs his gaze back to the front of the room, to Suga’s coffin. It’s closed, obviously. He hadn’t seen Suga’s face but he can’t imagine it would have made it out of that fall unscathed. On one hand he’s glad he isn’t being confronted with it right now, seeing his body was bad enough, but on the other he wishes he could see him just one more time, say goodbye properly. The photos set up around the room don’t capture how radiant Suga truly was.

The hand on his knee squeezes lightly and Hajime is endlessly thankful that nobody tried to tell Oikawa he couldn’t be right next to him.

\-----

“There’s no shame in taking a break from school, Hajime,” his mother says when he calls her after the funeral. “Especially under circumstances like these, the school will understand.”

“I know,” Hajime replies.

“You’re always welcome to come home.” 

“There’s nothing to keep me busy there.”

“There’s nothing to do that in your dorm room either, Tooru tells me you have barely left it since it happened, not even to eat.” 

Hajime grunts in reply, wondering when Oikawa had called his mother.

“He’s worried about you, Hajime. You know he only has your best interests in mind,” she says. “As do I.” 

“There’s nothing you can do,” he replies, wincing at his own words. There was probably a better way to phrase that. “I didn’t mean it that way,” he adds apologetically. 

His mother sighs. “I know you didn’t. It’s been a difficult couple of months for you, first your friend and now… well, it’s been hard. But shutting yourself off from everyone won’t make things better. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.” 

Hajime was young when his father died, too young to remember much about the man, but he does remember staying with his aunt and uncle for a few weeks after his death. He wonders if his mother tried to do the same thing he’s doing now.

“I don’t know what to do,” he says, honestly.

“You don’t have to let anyone and everyone in, you don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you can’t ignore the people who want to take care of you,” she says. “I know Tooru has offered to let you stay with him a few times, I think you should take him up on it.” 

“How will that help?”

“Tooru loves you, Hajime. He’ll make sure you take care of yourself, and he’ll be right there when you need him,” she explains.

Hajime sighs in defeat, he already knows there is no point in arguing when his mother and Oikawa agree on something. “I’ll ask him.” 

\-----

When Hajime asks, Oikawa is quick to offer to help him move, and the very next day they spend an afternoon packing up Hajime’s essentials and hauling them to Oikawa’s apartment.

Oikawa doesn’t have an extra bedroom, and although he immediately suggests that he can sleep on the sofa or they can share the bed like they usually do, Hajime refuses to be more of a burden than he has to be. They end up moving the bed, making room for Hajime to roll out the guest futon he has never used before. It’s lumpy and it smells funny from disuse but it’s no worse than his dorm mattress and Oikawa carefully makes it up with crisp, clean sheets.

He goes to bed as soon as they’re done setting up, waving away Oikawa’s offer to order something to eat, claiming he’s tired from moving, and just lays there in the dark wide awake. He doesn’t know how much time passes before the light flicks on and Oikawa is whispering his name, asking if he’s awake.

Hajime feigns sleep as he hears his best friend dress for bed and climb over him to get under his own covers. There’s a softly whispered “Good night, Iwa-chan.” before the lights are turned off and the room goes quiet again.

Hajime waits a couple of minutes until Oikawa’s breath evens out before he opens his eyes. It takes a while for him to get used to the dark, time he spends staring up, waiting for the fuzzy edges of the ceiling fan to clear up. When they do, he turns his head towards the bed.

Oikawa is sleeping on the edge of the mattress, as close to Hajime as he can be without falling out of bed, his right arm has escaped from beneath the covers and is hanging down, hand angled towards Hajime in an open invitation.

Hajime carefully reaches out, touching his fingers to Oikawa’s palm and listening for a change in breathing, but Oikawa doesn’t move a muscle. Hajime hooks his fingers between Oikawa’s and closes his eyes again. For the first time in over a week, he doesn’t dream about Suga’s broken body on the pavement.

\-----

It’s easy to settle into life with Oikawa, maybe surprisingly so. 

Hajime’s mother was right in that Oikawa would make sure he would take care of himself, forcing him out of bed in the morning by nearly burning down the kitchen trying to fry some eggs and then leaving it to Hajime to fix a breakfast together from whatever Oikawa has in his fridge. Not that Hajime is much of a cook himself, but it’s not hard to be better than Oikawa.

Over the course of a couple of days, Hajime becomes used to being the one who prepares their meals, and while he is only going to class occasionally, he ventures out on his own to buy groceries.

When Oikawa returns from his classes, they eat together, Oikawa telling him all about his day, and in the evenings they watch movies together or Hajime reads while Oikawa does his homework. 

When he decides to call it a night, Oikawa forces Hajime to go to bed as well. He still sleeps on the edge of the bed and, when Hajime is sure he’s asleep, he will sometimes hold Oikawa’s hand. He doesn’t know if Oikawa knows, he suspects he must, or he wouldn’t leave his arm dangling from the bed, but neither of them brings it up.

Oikawa doesn’t ask about Suga, or Daichi, or when Hajime is planning to start doing his homework and making up the tests he’s missing, and Hajime doesn’t mention those things either. Instead they talk about about Oikawa’s coursework, about the movies they watched together, about the books Hajime is reading, about a girl that asked Oikawa out the other day, about what they should have for dinner. Hajime gets annoyed with Oikawa for taking up the bathroom for an hour every day and Oikawa pouts when Hajime refuses to buy milk bread for the dozenth time that week.

It’s just easy.

\-----

“There were police on campus today,” Oikawa says when they’re both sitting on the couch, flicking through the channels to find something to watch.

Hajime freezes up. “Did another student go missing?” 

Oikawa shakes his head. “Not that I know, I think they’re looking into Sugawara’s case.” 

“Why? It was an accident wasn’t it?” Hajime asks. 

“I’m sure they’re just being thorough,” Oikawa says, finally settling on some sort of game show. “I got an e-mail from that detective you talked to before, Ukai-san?” 

“What did he want?” 

“To talk to you actually, he tried to reach you at the dorms but clearly you’re not there anymore.” 

“Have they arrested anyone?” Hajime asks, hopefully.

Oikawa shrugs. “No idea, he didn’t tell me anything. He wants to meet with you in person, he gave me the time and place when I told him you were staying here.” 

“Oh, okay,” Hajime replies.

\-----

His meeting with Ukai-san is the next day, in the same office of the administration building it was in before, thankfully nowhere near the site of Suga’s death. 

Hajime hasn’t visited the main classroom building since it happened, and he doesn’t plan on doing so anytime soon. Oikawa has told him that the front door has become a shrine not unlike Daichi’s dorm room door, just bigger. And Hajime is pretty sure he’ll throw up again if he has to see it.

Ukai-san is already waiting for him, even though Hajime is 10 minutes early. 

“My condolences, Iwaizumi-san,” Ukai says when Hajime enters the room. Hajime nods his thanks and takes the seat opposite the detective.

“How have you been holding up?”

“Not great, as you can imagine.”

“No, you’re right.” Ukai clears his throat. “I’m sorry it has to be now, but I asked you here today to talk about Sugawara Koushi.”

“Why are the police involved when his death was an accident?” Hajime asks

“Most people would call it a suicide,” Ukai says, carefully.

“No,” Hajime shakes his head. “I know Sugawara was upset over Daichi’s death but he wouldn’t kill himself. He was dealing with it.”

“Can you think of any other reason why he would go up to the roof?” Ukai asks.

“He might have wanted to be alone, it’s difficult to have some quiet time on a crowded campus,” Hajime replies.

“Yes, I would imagine it would be.” Ukai takes a cigarette out of the pack lying in front of him and lights it. “Can you tell me where you were at the time of his death?”

Hajime balls his hands in his lap. “Class was just getting out. When I left the building there was already a crowd gathered around…” He doesn’t have it in him to finish the sentence.

Ukai writes something down. “Don’t worry, nobody's accusing you of anything. Another witness already mentioned you being there, we’re just making sure all the information we have is in order.”

“Why would I need an alibi for an accident?” Hajime asks.

Ukai blows smoke towards the ceiling, breaking his eye contact with Hajime, and leans back in his chair.

“I shouldn’t tell you this, but I’m pretty damn sure you’re not the person we’re looking for,” he says.

“Tell me what?” Hajime asks, a nervous lump already forming in his throat.

“It wasn’t an accident, Iwaizumi-kun,” Ukai sighs. “Sugawara Koushi was dead before he fell.”

Hajime swallows, with some difficulty, and faces Ukai head on. “Someone killed him.” It’s not a question, how else could he have been dead already. 

Ukai nods his affirmation.

“How do you know?” Hajime asks, although he’s not sure he wants the answer.

Ukai pulls the cigarette from his mouth and balances it on the paper cup ashtray. “It’s not something anyone would have been able to see immediately, with the way his body was found, but out medical examiner stated the cause of death to be from a wound that wasn’t from the fall.”

Hajime has to fight down the hand that wants to touch his neck. “His throat,” he says softly. “The same way as Tsukishima Kei and Sawamura Daichi.”

“Yeah, it seems like it,” Ukai answers.

“It was all done by the same person?”

“We can’t say that for sure, but it seems the most likely.”

Hajime thinks he might pass out.

“I’m only telling you because I think you deserve to know what happened to him, just like his family, but there’s nothing else I can tell you,” Ukai says. “We don’t have any suspects and this death only complicates the case we had so far. It will be a while before we find the person responsible, but I can promise you we _will_ find them.”

Hajime nods, not capable of opening his mouth without throwing up.

“Listen, I’ve got my best people on this and we’re looking at every connection between the victims and every possible motive but until we have the person who did this in custody I would like you to be careful out there. We can’t guarantee that our killer is done.”

\-----

To: Oikawa Tooru  
| please come home

From: Oikawa Tooru  
| Iwa-chan?  
| What’s wrong?

To: Oikawa Tooru  
| i need you to come home

From: Oikawa Tooru  
| I’m on my way

\-----

The front door opens and Hajime gets up from the couch to meet Oikawa halfway. 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asks, clearly distraught by Hajime’s lack of explanation.

“He was murdered,” Hajime says. Saying the words out loud suddenly makes them real and he can feel the blood draining from his face as he takes a step towards Oikawa to hold himself up against his best friend’s shoulder.

“Who are you talking about?” Oikawa asks. His hands fly out to sit on Hajime’s waist, keeping him steady.

“Suga,” Hajime chokes out. 

“No,” Oikawa replies. “Sugawara-kun fell, you know that.”

“He was _thrown_ from that roof!” Hajime’s voice growing louder with the panic bubbling under his skin. “He was already dead.” 

Oikawa’s eyes narrow and his lips press together in a thin line for a short moment before he opens his mouth again. “Who said that?” 

“The detective, Ukai-san. Suga was killed by the same person who killed Tsukishima and Daichi.” 

Oikawa wraps his arms around Hajime and pulls him close so that Hajime’s face is pressed against his shoulder.

“Did Ukai-san mention any suspects?” Oikawa asks.

Hajime frowns. “No, no one. Three people are dead and they have no idea who did it.” 

Oikawa strokes his hand through Hajime’s hair. “It will all be okay Iwa-chan, you’re safe here. No one can hurt you in here.” 

“You too.” Hajime pulls back so he can face Oikawa, his hand shifting to rest on the side of Oikawa’s neck. “I need you to be safe, too. Too many people I knew are gone already, I can’t lose you Tooru.”

“Nothing will happen to me.” Oikawa leans in to press their foreheads together. From this close Oikawa’s face becomes blurry, so Hajime closes his eyes and focusses on touch instead. “Maybe you should go stay with your mother for a while.”

Hajime shakes his head just slightly, careful to not break their connection Oikawa. “I need to stay here with you, make sure you are okay.” 

“I’m here Hajime,” Oikawa whispers. “I’ll give you whatever you need.” 

\-----

After learning the cause of Suga’s death, Hajime becomes more of a shut-in than he already was.

He stops going to class completely. His teachers all seem very sympathetic and understanding and e-mail him all the material covered in class, which he doesn’t bother to open. Nothing about his course work interests him anymore.

He doesn’t have to ask Oikawa to stay home with him again. Oikawa comes back immediately after his classes let out and doesn’t leave in the mornings until he has reassured Hajime that he’ll be back as soon as possible.

\-----

“Why don’t we go out for dinner some time?” Oikawa asks one evening, when they’re curled up against each other on the couch, watching a documentary on crop circles.

“Why?” Hajime asks, not bothering to look away from the screen.

“Because we haven’t done that in ages.” 

“I’m not in the mood,” Hajime says.

Oikawa disentangles himself from Hajime’s hold and stands up. This, at least, draws Hajime’s attention away from the TV.

“It’s not good for you to stay cooped up in here all the time, come out with me.” 

Hajime frowns. “I said I didn’t want to.” 

“What about what I want, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asks.

Hajime bites his lip, he knows he should just tell Oikawa to go by himself, but being alone when Oikawa is in class, when he _knows_ exactly when Oikawa will be back, is already torture enough. 

He sighs. “Okay, we can go out.” 

Oikawa smiles wide enough that it might split his face in half. “Yay, Iwa-chan! I know just the place, I’ll make reservations for Friday!” 

\-----

Friday finds Hajime waiting by the front door for Oikawa to stop messing around with his hair and come out of the bathroom. They’re already running late, and just when Hajime is about to call the whole thing off, the door opens and Oikawa steps out looking his most dazzling, dressed in slacks and a blazer with glowing skin and not a hair out of place.

Hajime looks down at his own T-shirt and jeans, only mostly sure that they are clean to begin with.

“Do I have to change?” he asks.

Oikawa pulls on his coat and helps Hajime into his. “You’re perfect as you are, Iwa-chan.” 

Hajime frowns at the lack of insult he expected but Oikawa has already opened the door and is ushering him out before he can reply.

Fall has well and truly started, and after the sun sets, it’s cold enough to make Hajime shiver despite his coat. Oikawa notices and grabs Hajime’s arm and pulls them close together, like he’s Hajime’s own portable heater. Hajime doesn’t push him away, finds he no longer wants to. He hasn’t just grown used to Oikawa’s constant touching since he moved in, he’s come to _crave_ it. He needs touch to keep him grounded.

Hajime’s thoughts keep him occupied until they reach the restaurant, at which point he freezes, startling Oikawa out of his monologue.

“Something wrong, Iwa-chan?” he asks, genuine worry in his voice.

Oikawa has brought him to the restaurant Suga took him on their first official date, the one Oikawa initially invited him to go to. He wants nothing more than to turn around and head back home where he can hide under a blanket until his heart stops beating so fast but Oikawa’s grip has shifted until their fingers are intertwined and he’s looking at Hajime with those huge, concerned eyes.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” he asks.

Hajime shakes his head, unwilling to ruin Oikawa’s mood and all the effort he’s put into getting Hajime out of the house. It’s just a restaurant. He can do this. “Nothing, let’s go.”

Oikawa’s grip on his hand tightens and he doesn’t let go as he leads Hajime inside and to the table assigned to them. It’s on the other side of the room from the table Hajime had shared with Suga, now occupied by a different young couple oblivious to the rest of the room around them. Hajime swallows with some difficulty and shifts in his chair, his attention dragged back by Oikawa humming thoughtfully as he looks over the menu.

“I wonder what’s good here,” he asks himself more than Hajime. “I imagine you’ll be having the agedashi tofu?” 

“No,” Hajime replies, without even considering it. Oikawa lowers his menu a little and looks at him questioningly. “I mean, I’m not really in the mood for it today.” 

“That’s rare,” Oikawa says.

“It happens sometimes,” Hajime lies.

“If you say so,” Oikawa says, doubtful. “What _are_ you in the mood for?” 

“I don’t know, I’ll have whatever you’re having.” 

Oikawa claps his hands together. “Why don’t we get some smaller dishes to share then?” 

Hajime nods. When their waiter comes over he lets Oikawa order for the both of them, absentmindedly taking a sip from his drink. 

He lets Oikawa talk as they wait for their food, amazed at Oikawa’s ability to still come up with topics of conversation even though neither of them are without the other for more than a few hours a day. He keeps talking after their food arrives, seemingly even more chipper as he tells stories with only quick breaks for a bite of food every now and then. Hajime eats even less, his appetite close to non-existent but urged on by Oikawa’s insistence that he at least try everything. He tastes a spoonful of Oikawa’s sugary dessert, only because of the way Oikawa looks as he holds it out to him. 

\-----

When Oikawa has eaten his fill and announces that they should head back now, Hajime moves to pull his wallet out of his pocket to pay for his share of the meal, even though he hardly touched it, but is stopped by Oikawa reaching across the table and touching his other hand.

“Let me, Iwa-chan,” he says, smiling softly. “I’m the one who invited you out here in the first place.”

“I can pay for myself,” Hajime says.

“I know you can, I’m saying I don’t want you to,” Oikawa replies. “Next time you can pick the restaurant and you will treat me.”

Hajime grunts his agreement which Oikawa answers with a broad smile. He pays quickly and takes hold of Hajime’s arm again when they step back out into the cold.

“Thank you for coming out with me today, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “I know it’s difficult for you.” 

“It’s okay, it was important to you,” Hajime replies and Oikawa’s grip on his arm tightens affectionately. Oikawa is silent the rest of the way, and Hajime does nothing to break the quiet.

\-----

The apartment is blissfully warm when they get home and Hajime sighs as he slides off his coat and toes off his shoes. 

“Do you want some coffee?” Oikawa calls from the kitchen. 

“Yes please,” Hajime calls back as he walks out into the living room. 

Oikawa has taken off his blazer, leaving it neatly folded over the back of one of the dining chairs and when he comes out of the kitchen holding two cups of coffee Hajime sees he has also rolled up his sleeves, leaving his lower arms bare.

“Do you want me to lower the temperature?” Hajime asks as Oikawa sets the cups down on the coffee table and sits down. 

“No, it’s fine, come sit with me instead,” Oikawa replies, beckoning Hajime with his hand.

Hajime sits down as well and immediately has Oikawa nestling into his side.

“Tonight was nice,” Oikawa says softly. 

Hajime hums, not a real reply but Oikawa seems pleased with it and sighs softly. He rights himself and turns towards Hajime.

“I mean it, Hajime. Thank you.” Hajime turns his head as well at the use of his first name, just as Oikawa leans in the rest of the way.

Oikawa’s lips are soft, and cold from the walk home, against his own, and Hajime is so surprised that he doesn’t react in any way, just holds still until Oikawa slowly pulls away again. 

Oikawa’s smile drops from his face when he opens his eyes to be met with Hajime’s wide-eyed stare.

“Hajime?”

“What was that?” Hajime asks.

“A kiss?” Oikawa replies, with no sign of understanding why Hajime is so surprised.

“Why did you kiss me?” 

“That’s what you do at the end of a date, Hajime,” Oikawa says, brows furrowing in confusion.

“A _date_?” Hajime’s voice rises in surprise.

“Yes, what else would you call it?” Oikawa asks.

“Getting dinner with my best friend,” Hajime replies. “Why would you think it was a date!?”

Oikawa’s hands tug at the hem of his shirt. “Don’t pretend you don’t know,” he whispers.

“Know what?” Hajime asks.

“That I love you,” Oikawa says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, there’s no way you didn’t know.” 

Hajime stands up from the couch, putting some distance between himself and his best friend. “How should I know? You never told me!” 

“Don’t lie to me, Hajime!” Oikawa is also yelling now, his expression changed from confusion to hurt. “I never tried to hide it! And then you suddenly wanted to be together all the time and you never pushed me away anymore! You hold my hand when you sleep! Am I really supposed to believe that you have no feelings for me as well?” 

“My boyfriend _died_ not even two months ago, Oikawa! I wanted to be with you to make sure you didn’t die either! I didn’t push you away and held your hand because I needed the comfort of my best friend being there for me!”

Oikawa jumps up as well, and closes the distance between them with a step, hands gripping bruisingly hard onto Hajime’s biceps. “Stop talking about Sugawara!” he shouts. “You never talk about anything else and I’m sick of it! Why do you care so much about him? I should be the one you love! After all I’ve done for you, after I made sure that I was the only one!” 

Hajime feels like he has been punched in the stomach. “What do you mean?” 

“Your precious _Suga_ ,” Oikawa spits out, “called me out to the roof, said he needed to talk to me. He told me to stay away from you, said I was making you _uncomfortable_! Like he would know anything about you!” 

“What did you do?” Hajime whispers.

“He made me so angry!” Oikawa’s nails dig into Hajime’s skin through his shirt but the physical pain is a light tickle compared to Oikawa’s words. “I didn’t plan to do it, not then at least, but there he was, claiming he was only doing what was ‘best for Iwaizumi-kun’!” 

“You killed him,” Hajime says, softly, hoping that he’s misunderstood.

Oikawa laughs, not the sweet, charming sound it usually is, or even the fake laugh he puts on when trying to convince people he’s doing fine, but something panicked and feral, and Hajime knows he didn’t misunderstand him at all.

“Why!?” he screams at his best friend, finally gaining enough control over his body to get his hands between them and try to push Oikawa away, but Oikawa’s grip is stronger.

“I didn’t have a choice! Hajime was going to leave me behind! You had a boyfriend and a new best friend lined up and ready to replace me in your life!” 

Hajime’s fist curls around the collar of Oikawa’s shirt and pushes with all the strength he can muster up. 

“You killed Suga and Daichi for _that_!?” Oikawa catches his fist before Hajime can punch him in the jaw. “What about Tsukishima!?” 

“You hated him!” Oikawa yells. “You said so over and over! He was making you upset, so he had to go! They’re all gone now, Iwa-chan! You only have me left, you’ll have to love me now!” 

“You’re insane!” Hajime finally manages to wrestle himself free from Oikawa’s grip and shoves his hand down his pocket to get his phone. It’s not there. “I didn’t want him dead! I never wanted anyone to die! I’m calling the police!” 

“Don’t you dare!” Oikawa yells after him but Hajime is already sprinting towards the bedroom where he knows his phone has to be plugged into the charger. He’s reaching for it over the bed when a body collides with him and tackles him into the mattress. With the sheer force of his momentum, Oikawa ends up on top of him and Hajime is about to throw him off when something cool and sharp presses to the underside of his chin and he freezes up.

“You won’t turn me in, Hajime.” Oikawa is crying now, which is somehow more terrifying than his anger. “You love me! I know you do, you told me you did! You have to!” 

Hajime bites his lip. Oikawa has clearly lost his mind but Hajime won’t lie to him– has promised he would never lie to him. “I don’t love you the way you want me to.” 

Oikawa’s response is a guttural cry that pierces right through Hajime’s heart. He’s sure that the dripping warmth on his neck comes from Oikawa’s tears until the pain kicks in. He gasps for air but there is none. Oikawa buries his face in his hands, covered in blood, while Hajime paws fruitlessly at what is left of his throat, trying to press down to stop the bleeding with fingers that are already going numb.

Above him, he sees Oikawa remove his hands, sees his own blood streaked on his best friend’s face. His vision is getting blurry but he can just see Oikawa open his mouth, even if he can’t hear what he says over his heartbeat thundering in his ears.

Oikawa’s hand moves, and Hajime tries to scream through his mangled vocal cords for him to stop, but Oikawa has already drawn the blade along his own pale skin, blood gushing out and staining his crisp, white shirt a horrifying red. 

Oikawa falls away from him, and Hajime is left to stare at the ceiling fan, mouth gaping and hands slowing, until his vision goes black and his body stills completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is completely surreal to think that an idea that I came up with in the shower in November of 2014 now finally exists as a complete story.
> 
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read it.
> 
> \-----
> 
> I have a [fandom tumblr](http://grandkingshrine.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/oikavvva) if you want to listen to me complain about how writing is hard and about the next project I will be tackling.


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